A chalet holiday is like that classic image of a swan — serene and hunky-dory above the surface; underneath, to make it happen, furious activity. I know all about this stark difference between the experience as a guest and what goes on behind the scenes since I spent a season in 2019 managing ten chalets and a team of seasonaires in Val d’Isère.
I was working for a premium brand loved by British travellers and got to spend time on the slopes each week. It was a world away from my corporate job in London, on which I decided to risk pressing pause in my late twenties. Like so many other grads I felt that I’d been on the career conveyor belt, and not only did I come back a better skier, but I returned with new friends and perspectives. It remains one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
Several of the friends I made have returned to Val d’Isère in recent years too, despite needing a visa to work in Europe since Brexit. Some employers can help you to secure one (including visits to the French embassy), though of course it is more complicated than it was when I went, and these challenges do mean that there are fewer catered chalets. My friends tell me that it is still worth the effort, however, and I don’t doubt it. Below are ten things about chalet holidays that the guests never see.
10 things I learnt in my year doing a ski season
1. The meals are cooked by novices
Most seasonaires are students fresh out of uni for whom it is their first job. Training week is helpful, but doesn’t prepare them for what is to come. Case in point: they had one three-hour cooking lesson before they were expected to prepare a three-course dinner for ten guests six days a week. Yes, there were a couple of old hands who return year after year, but they were in the minority. That is to say that the quality of the meal you are served is down to the luck of the draw, especially early in the season. Other training, such as how to clean a loo or make a bed, was much more military in style — hosts’ alarms would go off at 5am before an inspection by management, and sheets would be ripped off if not up to standard.
2. The hosts have sex in your hot tub
Empty chalets — especially those with hot tubs — were hotspots for sex between seasonaires. Sometimes they would turn up thinking that a chalet was empty, hoping to be in and out before the next guests arrived, but find that it was already occupied — cue awkward excuses for their visit.
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3. The cheaper the deal, the worse the guest
The guests on last-minute deals were always the snobby ones — demanding, rude and arrogant — while those with too much money to care were the best. Sometimes the latter would take hosts out for lunch. It was a good investment as they’d return the favour with better service.
4. Hosts hoover the showers and sinks
On transfer day, after guests had left, hosts would check for tips in the chalet (hoping that there would be one so they could use it as drinking money) then have a nap in the nicest room before management turned up. Sometimes they would even sneak a bath, with a leftover glass of champagne if they were really lucky. Then it was time for a full clean of the chalet — the most efficient method was to hoover everything, including the shower and basins, then give it all a wipe.
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5. Warring families would need to be separated
If you think that your uncle is the only one who gets into arguments with strangers when on holiday, you’re wrong. This is especially true when it comes to mixed-occupancy chalets, housing families who have been put together for the week by the booking office. Occasionally screaming matches would erupt over dinner — politics being the main source of contention — and hosts would have to move guests to different chalets to restore the peace.
6. Play bagpipes for good tips
Staff were always thinking about how to secure a good tip, and there were two main tactics: focus on any children, because happy kids usually meant happy parents; otherwise party tricks were key. One friend of mine could play the bagpipes and would do so when guests arrived and departed — they lapped it up, so guess who made huge tips week in, week out.
7. Hosts would sleep with the guests
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Some of the hosts slept with guests. I was not one of them, but if you have a single son or daughter staying with you who likes to party, you may be surprised to learn how well they get on with the staff.
8. If they’ve had too many at après, you’ll get pesto pasta…
There were multiple times when hosts would drink too much at après and turn up late for a planned dinner. Pesto pasta was a go-to for hosts — guests loved it and it could be pulled together in 15 minutes. If you’re served this by a host instead of confit duck with braised lentils and green beans, don’t believe them when they say that there was a problem with the food delivery.
9. … and don’t ask the hosts to buy you drugs
Some guests would ask hosts where they could buy drugs on a night out. Often they were middle-aged men who couldn’t help but sound creepy as they tried to relive their time as a seasonaire 20 years previously.
10. Hosts worked hard, but played harder
The weekly day off was the reason we were all there — it made dealing with all the problems worthwhile. It would start with a big night out — seasonaires are very sociable, and love at altitude was commonplace. Then, if the weather was good, you’d ski all day. If it was bad, you’d sleep — you had to pick your battles.
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