Rejoice! In just a few weeks the tourism industry is due to reopen. Hoteliers around the country are inspecting their glassware as we speak and owners of self-catered accommodation are going through their inventories with military precision.
This year will be the summer of the staycation, that much we know. It was last year too, except then it was more of a recommendation because you could legally travel abroad. However, the travel landscape is very different a year later. English holidaymakers will face fines of up to £5,000 if they dare to leave the country and it’s likely Scotland will soon follow suit.
An entire nation forced to take their holidays on home soil is a recipe for disaster. VisitScotland is so concerned that we will lose the heid at the merest glimpse of sun that it has launched a responsible travel campaign. It includes a promotional video of a woman capering through a forest set to an Enya-style soundtrack, urging travellers to take only pictures and respect the nebulous concept of nature. The main concerns are litter, lighting fires, getting stuck up mountains and clogging country roads with parked cars.
I can only imagine that the campaign comes after the disaster of the first lockdown, when beauty spots around Loch Lomond and in the Highlands were trashed. The new message seems to be “come and enjoy our national parks but please don’t do anything stupid”. This is impossibly naive. VisitScotland’s campaigns department could spend £1 million and it would still not deter the overzealous hiker who thinks that Ben Nevis in a snowstorm is a challenge rather than an act of insanity. If previous years have shown anything, it is that you cannot stop people doing stupid things. Worse, I fear that the summer of 2021 will be the zenith of antisocial behaviour because there’s nothing like six months of house arrest to bring out the worst in ourselves.
I don’t just mean countryside conduct, but in the cities too. Already I see attempts of species reintroduction into public places and, truly, it is not a good look. In my local supermarket intolerances are running at such high levels that you will be the subject of a citizen’s arrest if you try to jump the checkout queue. My cousin, who lives in a well-heeled Perthshire village, has been shouted at for loitering too long on the street with his dog Gordon, the world’s best-behaved cockapoo.
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It’s as if we have forgotten how to be human, how to be soft and decent and let the small stuff slide. And so it is not just mountains and lochs at risk of irresponsible travel, but places where a greater density of folk will flock. City spas and bars, restaurants and gyms: all are bracing themselves for a flood of patrons displaying the worst kind of behaviour. Captivity breeds craziness and it is minimum wage workers who will bear the brunt. Spare a thought for them trying to wrangle blind-drunk guests who smuggled carry-oots into their hotel rooms when the bars shut early.
Hospitality staff have spent the past year in fear. Fear of losing their jobs, fear of being put on furlough, fear of working in one of the country’s most precarious industries. Maybe VisitScotland didn’t include them in its responsible travel advert because it’s not aspirational to show a cleaner dealing with the after-effects of a patron’s overindulgence in a restaurant lavatory. Or a tearful waiter being berated by a diner incensed that their first meal out of the house isn’t up to standard. Footage of glens and hills pulls at the heartstrings, especially for the two thirds of Scots who live in urban locales. But it is remiss to forget the human impact of irresponsible travel for the sake of making a good-looking promo. Ironically, it is irresponsible.
Like everyone else, I cannot overstate how excited I am to rejoin the real world. I have a weekend break booked in my favourite Glasgow hotel and dinner at a nearby restaurant, where my fingers will freeze and snap off because I’ll be sitting outside in early May. From previous stays I know that if I get a room on the top floor I’ll be able to see right across the city, to the church spires of the West End and the hills further south. From this spot you can also see the municipal office block that the tourist board gave a makeover with an enormous pink sign some years ago. A phrase in 10ft-high letters reads: “People Make Glasgow”. Sobering words, and ones Visit-Scotland would do well to remember.
Designs on virtual visits
Dovecot Studios has opened its doors to virtual visitors thanks to software usually rolled out for online house viewings. The new technology means it’s easy to visit one of Edinburgh’s most beloved art and design galleries no matter where you live. I can’t wait to take a tour.dovecotstudios.com
