One piece or two?
Two please! Wait, of what exactly? Fudge?
Sorry, I meant swimsuits. The celebrity bikini bragathon has come early this year . . . by about six months.
Well, a quick dip off the British coast at Christmas does get the blood pumping. I hope they remembered their Dryrobes and a Thermos of tea.
No need — the only ice here is muddled with mint in a highball glass. Gwyneth Paltrow shared a beach day in Barbados with her mum, Blythe Danner, and daughter, Apple; Chris Hemsworth and Elsa Pataky brought the kids to Fiji (he wore a festive hat, she wore a neon pink bikini); and supermodel mum and daughter Cindy Crawford and Kaia Gerber are in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. Apparently, ’tis the season for on-a-boat showboating for Instagram.
But the new year has only just started! Haven’t they heard of Twixmas — so named because you’ve still got to get through the least favourite choccies in the variety tin?
I’m not sure that celebrities do variety tins, actually. But they’re quite keen on “winter sun”.
I hope they have good travel insurance. I’m still missing a suitcase from my summer hols.
From the look of things, they each made do with carry-on.
Really? I thought celebrities hated to be caught wearing the same thing twice.
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Oh, they do. That’s why their bikinis are so itsy-bitsy. You can squeeze a fortnight’s worth of G-strings and triangle tops into one bag and still have space for Glass Onion-esque printed kaftans, oversized sunglasses and wedges to wear by the pool.
Smart. But I think I’ll stick with my flannel jammies.
