Google owns me. Sad, but true. Not just web searches — googling — but everything. My e-mail is Googlemail. My calendar is Google Calender, half of my work is done in Google Docs and, if I’m lost, I’ll invariably turn to Google Maps. I research on Google News, and I read blogs on Google Reader. On my laptop, my browser is Google Chrome. When my editor said: “We want you to spend a week without using Google, starting now,” I actually gulped.
Obviously, it can be done. Depressingly, though, it’s usually just a question of substituting all things Google for all things Microsoft. One behemoth instead of another. Instead of Googling, you Bing.
Instead of Googlemail, you use Hotmail. I wasn’t initially sure what to use instead of my usual calendar, blogreader, or maps. “I’ll Google it,” I thought. “Oh.”
Not using Google is an effort. It’s like having a fork, but never using it and instead stabbing at everything with a single-pronged skewer. Or, with Yahoo, just using your fingers. Like a lot of people, I’m used to using Google as a sort of substitute for a medium-term memory. I don’t really know things any more. I just know how to find them out. When you’ve got to find them out differently, it’s a wrench. Lord Mandelson’s job title, for example. Five years ago, I’d have made an effort to remember. These days, I wouldn’t bother.
So the problem, basically, is that Google has made me a moron. Take yesterday. I’m in Chiswick, somewhere, heading for an interview. I’ve remembered to write down the address, because I know I can’t search for it in Googlemail, but I haven’t taken any steps to figure out where that address is. I’m about to fire up Google Maps on my phone, but then I remember I’m not allowed. I start to search for an alternative on my pre-configured BlackBerry search option, but then I realise I can’t do that, either. So I stand there for a while, gaping like a fish, and then I have a brainwave and go into a shop.
Advertisement
“Where’s Studland Street?” I ask the counter guy. “Second left,” he says. “Thanks,” I say, and marvel at how easy it all used to be.