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Going up . . .

FUNNY LITTLE FROG BY BELLE AND SEBASTIAN
Cheerful little ditty to get us through these last dark January days

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CHUNKY GOLD CHAINS
Big links are so in. Wear yours now, before... whoosh! They’re out of fashion again

HOSTESS TROLLEYS
Sales up 83% at John Lewis. Are you being served?

GOFUGYOURSELF.COM
Take-no-prisoners fashion bitchblog. Essential reading for the Oscars build-up

AND GOING DOWN...

GIANT SUNGLASSES
The anorexic’s short cut to looking even skinnier

BEDROOM TVs
They halve your carnal count, apparently. What’s half of nothing?

HOLDALLS
Bags are for softies. Rock stars and ladies work the Dior Homme, Prada or Louis Vuitton trunk look

DADDY COOL
A Boney M musical starring Michelle Collins, Harvey from So Solid Crew and Javine? The jury’s out, out, out

CARROT-FIT JEANS
When “skinny” goes pear-shaped