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Going up ...

OMAN
This year’s “it” destination. Beaches, mountains, deserts — and top sport.

NATHAN BARLEY
Chris Morris is back, this time hitting fashion victims where it hurts. Ha, ha.

DEVASSA BEER
Rio’s most fashionable drink comes to our shores. Now, all we need is the sunshine.

DESSERT DATES
Forget dinner, take her for cake. She’ll be impressed — guaranteed.

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And going down . . .

DOUBLE-LAYER T-SHIRTS
The sewn-together ones. Taking convenience a step too far.

OUT-OF-DATE GADGETRY
How old and fat does the Apple G4 look now?

DIRECTIONAL FLORAL GRAPHICS
They’re for ponces, and you know it.

VERY TRASHY GIRLS
Jordan, Jodie, Abi Titmuss: your grubby-chic is so, so 2004.

THE ART-SCHOOL ROCK-STAR LOOK
Impressive haircuts, fellas, but do you know how much men over 30 hate you?