Going from bad to verse
Gill Hornby can identify with Jane Austen, the subject of her latest work, especially in her attitude to other authors. “She read every novel she could get her hands on,” Hornby says. “And always resented Walter Scott for his success.” Austen would write to friends bemoaning the latest Scott bestseller. “Why does he have to sell so many?” she asked one. “It’s like all authors feel about Richard Osman now,” remarks Hornby. Her book, Miss Austen, teases Jane’s brother, James, who considered himself to be the writer in the family. “His poetry is the most execrable rubbish,” she told the Petworth literary festival. She included a lot of it in her novel but also invented letters by him. Oddly, readers tend to assume the letters were real and the verse was so bad it must have been made up.
Tory HQ is anxious to avoid a by-election in Bishop Auckland, which they won in 2019 for the first time since it was created 1885. The New Statesman reports that its MP, Dehenna Davison, alarmed whips by leaning out of the window in her office in the eaves of parliament so often that they put up a sign that reminds her: “Do not fall out.”
Mogg’s diplomacy
Jacob Rees-Mogg did his bit for cross-Channel relations yesterday by explaining that President Macron’s recent behaviour is due to ancient French grievances at this time of year. “It’s late Octoberitis,” he said on his Moggcast. “It’s Trafalgar Day on the 21st and Agincourt Day on the 25th and the French are always a bit touchy then.” Helpful diplomatic advice from a man who possibly thinks that entente cordiale is drinking Rose’s lime juice under canvas.
The journalist and podcaster Pandora Sykes is usually unflappable in interviews. She admits, though, to becoming tongue-tied with nerves when she met her favourite author, David Nicholls, especially when he said he liked her dress. Speaking at the launch of her book of essays, How Do We Know We’re Doing It Right?, Sykes cringed to recall herself blurting out the reply: “You can borrow it any time you like.”
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Food for thought
In 14 years as a Labour MP, Mary Creagh says her “greatest hit” was a private member’s bill that banned Turkey Twizzlers in schools. The former member for Wakefield’s nutritious efforts were less appreciated at home. Creagh tells The House magazine that when she lost her seat in 2019, she became obsessed with cooking healthy dinners for her family. After a couple of months, her children begged her to let their father have the kitchen back so they could have fish fingers and chicken nuggets again.
Sky News was gleefully showing a video of the theft of a 7m swimming pool in a suburb of Geelong, in Victoria yesterday. It prompted the Dead Ringers writer Nev Fountain, who fancies himself as a modern Ronnie Barker, to remark: “Police say these thieves are dangerous — they could go to any lengths.”
Springing a leak
Suzie Marwood, my yachting correspondent, emails with news about a prestigious regatta in San Diego. The Sir Thomas Lipton Challenge Cup, named after the iced tea chap who repeatedly failed to win the America’s Cup for Britain, has been won by a skipper called Tyler Sinks. Having overcome his name, Sinks no doubt cracked open the bubbly with his crewmate — and I stress I am not making this up — Erik Shampain.