This being March 5, winter has been going on for ages, but the end isn’t quite in sight. My crumpet consumption has therefore peaked, at two a day. On those days when I’ve selflessly sought to increase the sum of human knowledge by conducting side-by-side taste tests, the tally can rise exponentially, but I am now the most renowned crumpetologist in all of London.
I know, for example, that Warburton’s are too doughy, but they get kudos for producing giant crumpets, because how exciting is that? A giant crumpet! First place in the Crumpet Cup goes to Waitrose’s buttermilk, with an honourable mention to Kingsmill because it excelled itself in December with a crumpet shaped like a Christmas tree. I’m hoping at Easter there might be crumbunnies.
The direct result of this, not unexpectedly, is that I’m fat. Today, therefore, we are going to investigate an item of clothing that is a) cheering and spring-like, and b) does not judge me for my crumpet consumption, which is to say a loose, pretty, floral blouse which I can wear now with an electric blanket draped over my shoulders while sitting next to a radiator, and in the summer outside, on its own.
Far and away my favourite brand is Tucker, which isn’t very helpful because its pieces are difficult to track down. Damsel, a shop in west London, stocks a few of them, but it doesn’t sell them online (damselboutique.co.uk). Trilogy always has a few (£245; trilogystores.co.uk). But for the best selection you need to shop the US website (tuckernyc.com), which is far from ideal, but I guess it depends how much you want one. Shipping and taxes to the UK are a whopping $130, but set against that the fact that, while they’re £245 at Trilogy, they’re $275 (£190; pictured) on tuckernyc.com. I’ve just added it all up and, converted into sterling, it comes in at £280, which isn’t that much more than Trilogy, and really isn’t bad at all for a beautiful pure silk top. As I say, it depends how much you want one. I’ve got more than I care to admit, because they’re insanely versatile and every time I wear one someone says, “What a beautiful top. Where did you get it?” They feminise a navy suit at work, and they look great with white jeans in the summer. The one snag is that they’re dry-clean only, which is a bore, but there we are. DO NOT be tempted to think, “Sod it. It’s silk – I’ll handwash it.” I did. The colours ran. Bad day.
If you can’t be faffed with that, Isabel Marant Etoile’s Lainey paisley-print blouse is pretty (£100; matchesfashion.com) as is Rebecca Taylor’s blue-mix blouse with tasselled ties (£295; matchesfashion.com). Warehouse has the pure silk flowery tunic-style botanical blouse for a remarkable £69 (warehouse.co.uk), Massimo Dutti has a leaf-print blouse (£49.95; massimodutti.com) and Zara has a pretty printed shirt (£25.99; zara.com). Personally, I think you should treat yourself to Tucker. Or a crumpet. Maybe both, to be safe.