Patricia Thorburn had hoped for a good send-off, with dignity and decorum and a vintage Rolls Royce hearse to take her to her final resting place. It was not to be.
In the middle of her funeral in the Salvation Army Citadel in Middlesbrough, a funeral director from a rival firm reached inside the waiting Phantom Vl and pinched the keys.
Mourners had to stand around for more than an hour until, in an act of desperation, the undertakers ripped open the walnut dashboard to ’hot wire’ the venerable vehicle.
There was little dignity or decorum left as the funeral cortege finally got underway to the crematorium.
Recorder James Goss, QC, sitting at Teesside Crown Court heard today that the deceased had been the unwitting victim of a dispute between rival funeral directors.
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David Wood, 49, of Middlesbrough, exacted his revenge because he believed that his rivals, Joel D. Kerr, had been poaching his business in Stockton, Teesside. He pleaded guilty to theft.
The impulsive gesture, captured on CCTV in September last year, had been a moment of “childish stupidity”, he suggested.
Recorder Goss told him: “This is not really an offence of theft but an offence against public decency.”
The judge read the funeral director’s glowing references with growing puzzlement. He wondered how such a caring professional could have ruined 65-year-old Mrs Thorburn’s funeral, as her mourners grieved.
“It is the complete antithesis of how he was described in that reference,” the judge said. “It must have been professional jealousy or anger at the dispute that he was in.
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“One thing as supposedly civilised human beings we hope to expect is that when death occurs it will be treated with respect.
“Sadly you treated the death in this case and the funeral that was taking place with disrespect.”
The damage to the Rolls Royce required costly repairs. The keys, which were flung away as Wood fled, have never been recovered.
Recorder Goss sentenced Wood to a suspended six month prison sentence. He was ordered to pay £250 prosecution costs and a compensation hearing will be held later.
Peter Makepeace, for the defence, said there had been a serious effect on Wood’s business since the case was reported.
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“I express on Mr Wood’s behalf his profound apology to Mr Kerr and to his staff and even more particularly to the family of the deceased.”