Fed up nursing? Tired of teaching? Frustrated by a glass ceiling at the office? Then why not consider a rewarding career as a kiss-and-tell girl?
Francesa Sawyer, who has enjoyed success in this demanding field, explained the basics of the job to The Sun last week. "Personal assistant Francesa, 22, from Essex, has just one aim - to snare a Premier League footballer," the paper reported. "And never mind if her targets have wives and girlfriends or children."
The main requirement, Francesca explained, was to hang around in night clubs. "In London it's Kabaret on a Monday, Funky Buddha on a Tuesday, Chinawhite on a Wednesday and Movida on a Thursday. At the weekend it's anywhere in Kensington."
Does the job come with an attractive uniform? Again, Francesa is very clear. "The players are just chavs with money so their taste is pretty much that of your local builder," she says. "There is no point splashing out in designer shoes. The simple rule is to dress as sluttishly as possible and reveal as much flesh as you can."
You might think that the greatest ambition in such a girl's life was to be a Wag. And how touchingly naive you would be.
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"The fairytale ending wouldn't be marrying a footballer," says Francesa. " That would be hell. Best is to use them to your advantage. A kiss-and-tell could pay for you to get on the property ladder or set up your own business.
"There isn't a single Premier League player who will stay faithful to his wife or girlfriend. They've all got lawyers on speed dial because they sleep around. They offer pay-offs and you know they've done it 20 times before."
Francesca's advice is probably now pinned up in the dressing room of every football club as a dreadful warning. Which the players will, of course, ignore.