“I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It’s Hans free.”
Are you laughing uproariously? You should be: that pun has been judged to be the funniest joke of the Edinburgh Fringe.
Darren Walsh, 39, a comedian who was born in Peterborough, won the accolade for a line from his one-man show Punderbolt.
The quip beat jokes about Kim Kardashian, hippos and the feeding of the 5,000 to win the Dave’s Funniest Joke of the Fringe Award, which is now in its eighth year. His rather simple quip was deemed to be more amusing than a more sophisticated joke that was delivered by a schoolgirl — who is also the only female to make the shortlist for the best jokes.
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Grace the Child, who has been performing her show Playground Politics to rave reviews, took tenth spot, at the tender age of 12, with the line: “They’re always telling me to live my dreams, but I don’t want to be naked in an exam I haven’t revised for.”
Walsh, who won the first UK pun championship last year, took the honour for the gag during his hour-long performance.
He said: “I am delighted to win this award. It’s a punderful feeling.”
However, he has admitted that his quickfire delivery is not for everyone, saying: “It can be a bit like a maths test for the audience, which is a problem when you’re doing an hour. You’ve got to expect them to sit through these word puzzles.
“I do break it up with audience interaction and with videos, so it’s not just a bloke standing there reciting puns for an hour.”
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A panel of ten comedy critics drew up a shortlist of jokes which were then voted on by 2,000 people. To whittle down the list, each of the judges sat through more than 60 shows and sifted through more than 7,200 jokes.
Steve North, the general manager of Dave, the TV channel which sponsors the contest, said: “The Fringe is renowned for being the best place to spot new and emerging comedy talent, and although there are some returning contenders in our top ten, there is a high volume of new talent which is very exciting to see.
“So as to ensure the jokes are ranked fairly the comedian’s name or show are not revealed during the voting process. It’s purely down to the jokes themselves.”
The contest also named and shamed the worst jokes, which included Stewart Francis, a former winner, with: “I am Canadian, but if you think I’m Russian, Soviet”; Lou Sanders with: “What do honeymooners eat for breakfast? Wedded wheat”; and Jeff Green’s line that feels about 40 years out of step: “I suffer from PMS. My wife gets it and I suffer from it.”
Last year, Tim Vine won with: “I decided to sell my hoover . . . well it was just collecting dust.” The comic, whose brother is Jeremy Vine, the BBC broadcaster, also won in 2010 for the line: “I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again.”
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The top ten
1 “I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It’s Hans free” Darren Walsh
2 “Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse . . . but enough about Kanye West” Stewart Francis
3 “Surely every car is a people carrier?” Adam Hess
4 “What’s the difference between a ‘hippo’ and a ‘Zippo’? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter” Masai Graham
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5 “If I could take just one thing to a desert island, I probably wouldn’t go” Dave Green
6 “Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That’s not a miracle. That’s tapas” Mark Nelson
7 “Red sky at night. Shepherd’s delight. Blue sky at night. Day” Tom Parry
=8 “The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves” Alun Cochrane
=8 “Clowns divorce. Custardy battle” Simon Munnery
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10 “They’re always telling me to live my dreams. But I don’t want to be naked in an exam I haven’t revised for” Grace the Child