There are no emergency lights blinking, no spiralling altimeters and no sudden bout of food poisoning has wiped out the crew, yet I have just been handed the controls of a light aircraft. At 3,000ft.
I’m in the driving seat of a dual-control Piper Warrior PA28, the first part of a “Loop the Loop” experience: an hour’s flying lesson and an overnight stay and two-course meal at the Aviator hotel in Farnborough, Hampshire. Beside me, in front of his own steering column, is my tutor, trained pilot James Gwynne, and somewhere far below is the hotel’s plush bar and a cocktail with my name on it.
Setting off from Blackbushe airport, near Camberley, Surrey, the pilot deals with the difficult manoeuvres such as take-off and landing; all you have to do is learn to steer at altitude.
Taxi and takeoff were smooth, and within seconds of the land falling away beneath us James had put our fate in my hands, with the calm reassurance that flying a plane is just like driving a car. And to an extent it is, though obviously with dives and climbs to contend with, as well as turns to the left and right.
It is a rather gentle introduction to what it’s like to be a pilot: despite the name of this gift package there are no death-defying aerial acrobatics involved, and no previous flying experience is necessary. All I have to concentrate on is keeping the wingtips level, focusing on the horizon, using gentle nudges of the steering column and trying to forget the day the music died. Soon we are zipping over the green fields of Surrey and Hampshire like a mouse arrow on an Excel spreadsheet. Shafts of sunlight cut through grey cloud cover, bathing in gold a conurbation to the south, a latter-day El Dorado. James’s voice crackles to life in my headphones again. “That’s Basingstoke,” he says.
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We’re on our way to nearby Thruxton airport for a manoeuvre known appositely as a “touch-and-go” – landing for a few seconds, taxiing at speed and immediately taking off again. James gives me the nod and I ease the control column forward to begin our descent, banking left on approach, swooping down over a rank of red Porsches for use on the motorsports track circling the perimeter of the airfield. I line up the runway in my sights, before James takes control for the tough bit. We land for seconds then bounce back up into the air.
On our way back to base we shoot up above the clouds at a rate of knots, and it is here that a real sense of adventure kicks in, the blue sky opening up and the sun shining. The odd gust of wind buffets us and as the control column bucks in my hand I can feel the lightness of the plane, which is both exhilarating and terrifying in equal measure. You can choose which direction to fly in: to the coast, the Isle of Wight, or a flyby of your house if you live in the area. Nosing down into a hole in the clouds, we wheel left to begin our descent to Blackbushe for an equally delicate landing.
The Aviator is a taxi ride away (costing £18) near Farnborough airport, the London landing pad of choice for publicity-shy celebrities and Russian oligarchs. Seen from above, the hotel has been designed to resemble a giant propeller: four floors of rooms form the two “blades” off a central hub. Owned and operated by TAG Aviation, which also owns the airport, it offers views across the runway for guests and diners alike, a fitting reminder of the day’s accomplishments.
The fear of death is banished by that integral part of any aerial adventure: the après-flight cocktail. Included in the package – which, the hotel expects, will be bought as a gift by partners of family members, or enjoyed as part of a luxury boys’ weekend – is this refreshing, award-winning smack in the mouth known as the Silver Jet. Created by Aviator barman Aaron Hibbert, it’s a tequila, lime and vanilla martini with a chilli pegged to the glass; circle the chilli around the rim until you’ve found your preferred heat.
Relaxing before dinner in the stylish surroundings of the top-floor Sky Bar, looking out over the blinking lights of the airport, it’s a relief to know that only my lips are on fire; that my plane and its pilots escaped the same fate. After my hour’s lesson I am technically one 45th of the way towards my licence, in fact, with a certificate to prove it. Another 44 hours and I’ll be looping the loop after all.
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Need to know
Try the Loop the Loop experience for yourself at Aviator Farnborough, www.aviatorfarnborough.co.uk; 01252 555890 and Blackbushe airport, www.blackbusheschoolofflying.com; 01252 870999. £350 per couple, including one-hour flying lesson, two-course meal, cocktail and night’s accommodation.