Five Nights at Freddy’s review — an absurd video game adaptation

★☆☆☆☆
Come back, Nicolas Cage, all is forgiven. His atrocious 2021 horror, Willy’s Wonderland, about a janitor battling homicidal animatronic mascots, was very loosely based on the popular video game franchise Five Nights at Freddy’s. This film, however, is a direct movie adaptation of Five Nights at Freddy’s and it’s even worse: no scares, no intrigue, no fun, just the Hunger Games charisma vacuum Josh Hutcherson as moody Mike, a newly hired security guard at a derelict pizzeria called Freddy Fazbear’s, which is home to the aforementioned psychopathic mascots. Mike, with the aid of his resilient little sister Abby (Piper Rubio) and the friendly local police officer Vanessa (Elizabeth Lail), must ultimately survive, well, see title.

Everything here underwhelms, especially the villains. They’re alarmingly ineffective and bland, and the incessant audio jump scares from the director and co-writer Emma Tammi eventually push the film towards unintentional self-satire. Like Teletubbies with chainsaws, or knife-wielding Fimbles, it’s absurd. But not in a good way.
15, 109min
In cinemas