I have fond memories of our family holidays on a farm in Wales when I was a child. It was noisy, smelly and full of psychopathic geese, and the barn conversion consisted of shooing the cows out and chucking a couple of bunk beds in, but I still loved it.
Things have changed. Back then, tourists were a way of making a few extra bob, somewhere below turnips on the list of priorities. Now, the Soil Association estimates that 60% of its members rely substantially on tourism. We've moved up the pecking order, with a commensurate increase in the quality of the accommodation, facilities and welcome.
Like farming itself, such stays are now a global business: you can experience life on the farm in its many forms across the world. Here's my pick of the best.
England: Huntstile Farm, Somerset
This hard-working enterprise is near Bridgwater, in the lovely Quantock Hills. It produces vegetables, fruit, herbs and flowers on more than 700 acres of organic land, and has British White cattle, for beef, and organic chickens, for the breakfast eggs. Guests can cycle, fish or help on the farm, and the owners run courses in bread-making, falconry and organic farming. There's a self-catering conversion and camping, or you can stay in the 15th-century farmhouse itself.
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Rooms from £65, B&B; camping from £10; 01278 662358, huntstileorganicfarm.co.uk
Wales: Ty-Mynydd, Powys
Never mind the immaculately restored/reimagined farmhouse, with its two double bedrooms to rent, or the pigs, sheep and Dexter cows on this chemical-free farm. Just look at the pretty patchwork views along the Wye Valley. The owners let people wander the farm and interact with the animals.
Doubles start at £80, B&B; 01497 821593, tymynydd.co.uk
Ireland: Tir na Fiuise, Tipperary
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It means "land of fuchsia", since you ask, and consists of five cottages near Lough Derg. It's a fifth-generation family farm, and the owners, Niall and Inez, are happy for guests to help with lambing, sowing crops and organic gardening, as well as encouraging them to take part in traditions such as Irish dancing or a session in one of the local pubs. The 160-acre spread has sheep, cattle, vegetables and chickens, and there are farm walks or, this being Ireland, bog strolls.
A two-bedroom self-catering cottage starts at £187 for a weekend; 00 353 67 22041, tirnafiuise.com. The farm is about 90 minutes' drive from both Shannon and Galway, which are served by Aer Arann (0870 876 7676, aerarann.com) and Ryanair (0871 246 0000, ryanair.com)
Spain: Can Marti, Ibiza
Many visitors don't realise there are farms on Ibiza (or such a thing as midday). This is an organic, solar-powered one, set in almond, carob and fig groves in the north, with good green and recycling practices. It has no air conditioning - just thick, cool walls - and no pool, but beaches are a short drive. The farm grows its own vegetables: guests (a maximum of 10 across four apartments) are welcome to muck in or purchase the produce.
An apartment for two starts at £811 for a week, room-only; 00 34 971 333500, canmarti.com. Airlines flying to Ibiza include Monarch (0871 940 5040, monarch.co.uk) and British Airways (0844 493 0787, ba.com)
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Italy: Locanda della Valle Nuevo, Le Marche
Just outside the Unesco World Heritage-listed town of Urbino, this is a rigorously organic farm (pure-breed Marchigiana cows, wheat, fruit, vegetables) with solar heating and other green initiatives, all set on 185 acres. It has a pool, stables with horses to hire and woods that, in autumn, have truffles. There are six chic, modern rooms (no roughing it here) and two apartments for two.
From £50pp per night, B&B, or £75pp, half-board; 00 39 0722 330303, vallenuova.it. Fly to Ancona, an hour's drive away, with Ryanair (0871 246 0000, ryanair.com)
Greece: Villa Creta, Crete
Here are three stone villas in the hills above town (great views): two are for hire, the other belongs to the couple who own and work this organic farm, with its fruit orchards, ducks, geese and boars. It has a pool, stables next door and, bizarrely, a miniature train to shuttle you around. It's self-catering, but good dinners are available, with most produce coming from the estate.
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Villa Stella (sleeping five) starts at about £190 a night with i-escape.com (0117 942 8476, i-escape.com). Fly to Heraklion with Jet2 (0871 226 1737, jet2.com) or EasyJet (easyjet.com)
Iceland: Vogafjos, Lake Myvatn
Up in the north, where visitors seldom tread, this farm has been in the same family for 120 years. At its popular cafe, you can sample home-smoked trout, smoked lamb, farm-produced mozzarella and feta, and "hot spring bread" (baked using geothermal heat). There are two functional log houses, each with 10 ensuite rooms; breakfast might include warm milk straight from the cow, although that's not compulsory.
Doubles from £75, B&B; 00 354 464 4303, vogafjos.net. From June, fly to Akureyri with Iceland Express (icelandexpress.com)
Sweden: Stora Holmen, Norra Vanga
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Northwest of Gothenburg, this is a modern, comfortable farmhouse with an attached four-bedroom cabin. The owners grow potatoes, carrots and cereals on 700 acres of land; there are also 175 female pigs, with about 700 piglets born every year. Guests are welcome to help around the farm. Meals involve pork, of course, but might also include wild elk or deer from the local forest.
Cabins start at £52 per night; 00 46 511 373244, storaholmen.com. Fly to Gothenburg with Ryanair (0871 246 0000, ryanair.com)
Romania: Popica Farm, Maramures
Popica is a well-known musician in Romania, which is why much of his farmhouse is hung with stringed instruments and stuffed with albums. He has now retired to his fruit trees and sheep, although he will give you a tune without too much persuasion. The main pastime here is walking across a timeless, pastoral slice of Europe (ultra-traditional farms, villages and churches) - then it's back for Mrs Popica's home cooking (may contain sheep).
A week costs £793pp, including flights from London and car hire, with Sunvil Discovery (020 8758 4722, sunvil.co.uk)
East Coast America: Stony Creek Farm, New York State
You may have heard of Featherdown Farm Days (featherdownfarm.co.uk), the outfit that puts cosy tents with three bedrooms, flushing lavatories and wood-burning stoves on working farms across the UK. They've now spread to America, and the family-owned Stony Creek, in the beautiful Catskill Mountains, in upstate New York, was one of the first. A dairy farm for more than a century, it now has laying hens, a flock of sheep, Tamworth pigs, turkeys, guinea hens and a Jersey cow.
Tents start at £117 per night; 00 1 512 524 1817, featherdown.com. New York City is a four-hour drive away. Airlines flying to Newark include Virgin Atlantic (0844 209 7777, virgin-atlantic.com) and British Airways (0844 493 0787, ba.com)
West Coast America: V6 Ranch, California
A proper working cattle ranch set on 20,000 acres, V6 offers cattle drives several times a year for a taste of genuine cowpokery: help with gathering and moving before camping under the stars. There's also a rustic but comfortable lodge on site for those opting for day-long trail rides, as well as a grill room serving the ranch's grass-fed beef.
The three-day drives take place on April 16-19, May 7-10 and May 21-24, and start at £464pp, including camping and meals, but not flights; 00 1 805 463 2493, parkfield.com. The trail rides run throughout the year, and start at £77pp per day; lodges start at £60 per night. The ranch is halfway between Los Angeles and San Francisco; fly to either city with BA (0844 493 0787, ba.com) or United Airlines (0845 844 4777, unitedairlines.co.uk)
Brazil: Araras Eco Lodge and Farm, Pantanal
The very conjunction of the words "farm" and "Brazil" brings to mind the precious Amazon rainforest being destroyed to give the world cheap burgers. Not here. These 131,000 acres in the Brazilian wetlands are split into two parts, with 20% designated as a nature reserve and eco-tourism destination, supporting various conservation projects (for the jaguar, the hyacinth macaw and the blue-fronted parrot). The rest of the place is a beef-cattle range. The 15-bedroom lodge is simple, with ensuite bathrooms, but no televisions or flash amenities. It offers birding, hiking, night safaris, canoeing and riding, all with expert guides, or you can learn the finer points of cattle-rearing with the cowboys.
Five nights at the reserve and farm start at £1,460pp, with Tribes (01728 685971, www.tribes.co.uk). The operator can arrange flights to Campo Grande, via Sao Paulo, from about £1,000. From there, the lodge runs a shuttle bus (3½ hours, £150pp return)
Argentina: Estancia Huechahue, Lake District
Four generations of the Wood family have worked on these 15,000 acres of Patagonian steppe, and now they're offering guests the chance to join in the cattle round-ups, overnight camping trips into the wilds of Patagonia and even a condor-spotting trek across into Chile. Accommodation is in basic but comfortable cabins.
Four nights at the estancia (full-board, including most activities) and three nights in Buenos Aires start at £2,395pp, including flights, with South American Experience (0845 277 3366, wandotravel.com)
Tanzania: Gibb's Farm, Ngorongoro Conservation Area
A proper Out of Africa working farm, created by German settlers in 1929 near the wildlife-rich forest surrounding the Ngorongoro Crater, this is still a productive property, with a 10-acre organic fruit, vegetable and flower garden, as well as coffee fields, a dairy and a pig farm, which provide all the milk, coffee, eggs and meat served to guests. Accommodation is in 20 smart wooden-floored farm cottages with private verandas and bathrooms. There's also a small spa for post-safari massages.
A nine-night safari, with four nights at Gibb's, starts at £2,475pp, including flights, with Bailey Robinson (01488 689777, baileyrobinson.com)
South Africa: Bartholomeus Klip, Western Cape
This is a lovely Victorian farmhouse on a property that has a dual identity, doubling as a working farm and a game reserve. The 6,000-acre farm has buffalo and 4,000 Merino sheep (visitors for lambing or shearing welcome). A further 10,000 acres is a "non-predatory" reserve, hosting game drives to spot eland, springbok, black wildebeest, zebras, bontebok, baboons, bat-eared foxes and lynxes, as well as a splendid array of bird life. You can stay in the main house or a standalone self-catering cottage. Excellent-value meals are available.
A seven-night trip (four at Bartholomeus, three in Cape Town) starts at £1,915pp, including flights and car hire, with Kirker (020 7593 1899, www.kirkerholidays.com)
India: Olavipe, Kerala
On a lagoon south of Cochin airport, this is a house with a remarkable history going back to the 19th century, and is currently run by the sixth generation of the family. The property has four visitor bedrooms and sits at the heart of an organic farm, growing everything from nutmeg to emus. Residents choose between indolence and helping the locals with net-fishing in the Keralan waterways, feeding the prawns or trying coconut harvesting (every 45 days). Dining is communal with the other guests and the family, featuring traditional Keralan cooking using local ingredients, many from the farm and the lagoon.
Seven nights start at £1,325pp, full-board, including flights, with Real Holidays (020 7359 3938, realholidays.co.uk)
Thailand: Gecko Villa, Udon Thani
In northeast Thailand, between three rural Thai villages, this charming standalone three-bedrooms-with-pool villa sits in 50 acres of gardens, orchards, woodlands, pastures and rice paddies. It's a co-operative venture between locals, and guests can try their hand at rice farming, fishing and ploughing with water buffalo, or take cookery classes. A brilliantly non-exploitative way to get under the skin of Thai life.
Villa sleeps 4-6 and starts at £130 per night, full-board, booked through responsibletravel.com. Flights from London to Udon Thani start at about £600 with Thai Airways (0870 606 0911, thaiairways.co.uk)
Australia: Arkaba Station, South Australia
Sitting on 60,000 acres at the edge of the dramatic Flinders Ranges, north of Adelaide, Arkaba has just four bedrooms in the 1850s farmstead and a separate garden cottage. Activities include 4WD safaris, mountain-biking, wildlife-viewing and guided walks. The prime spectator sport is the controlled frenzy of sheep shearing - at Arkaba, this normally takes place in August, but visits to neighbouring stations can be arranged at other times.
Four nights, full-board, at Arkaba, and three nights, B&B, at Kangaroo Island Seafront Resort start at £2,999pp, including flights, with Black Tomato (020 7426 9888, blacktomato.co.uk). Or book direct for £448pp per night, all-inclusive, on 00 61 2 9571 6399 or at arkabastation.com. Qantas has flights from Heathrow to Adelaide, via Singapore, from £667 (0845 774 7767, qantas.com.au)
New Zealand: Matamata Farmstay, North Island
A 635-acre dairy farm, milking just less than 1,000 cows twice daily, with sheep, deer and horses, too, Matamata is set in the area the hobbits called home in the Lord of the Rings movies (tours available). Willing guests can participate in the milking process, feeding the chickens or collecting eggs. There are quad-bike tours, horse and carriage rides, and sheep-shearing demos, and you can pluck the veg for the evening meal in the large garden.
Two nights in the family home start at £172pp, including three-course dinner, breakfast and all activities. Book it as part of a bespoke trip with Bridge & Wickers (020 7483 6555, www.bridgeandwickers.co.uk), which can also arrange flights from London to Auckland; from about £620