THE SOUTHLANDERS may not be a household name but one of their hits endures as a children’s nonsense song. “I am a mole and I live in a hole” was the refrain for a song that reached the Top 20 in 1958. Catchy it may be, but it doesn’t help those whose lawns are blighted by these criminal masterminds. Some make mountains out of molehills. Far better to make compost of them instead. The hills consist of fine, friable soil that is excellent for potting.
Moles may look cute — and their skin has inspired many a fine pair of trousers — but the beasts are as nefarious as any James Bond villain. With their sharp Dr No-style pincers, they can shift their own weight in soil every minute to dig extensive tunnel systems and form hills and ridges on the lawn, which can ruin a game of croquet. The largest molehill is their “fortress”, where they keep earthworms, stunned with a bite to the head, for food. As many as 470 worms have been recorded in a single fortress.
How do you get rid of these underworld villains? You can’t bury them alive, obviously, and few have the patience to stay up all night waiting for a chance to bash them on the nose with a spade. Flooding the tunnel system with water can help to eject moles. Moles dislike soil that is compacted or stony, so you can protect relatively small areas from invasion by digging a trench about 60cm deep and 30cm wide and filling it with clay or stones.
The Royal Horticultural Society advises using traps, which you can buy from garden centres. They are humane but need careful placement in a tunnel, not directly under a molehill. Moley is fairly savvy, however, and may taunt you by pushing soil into the trap. If you become desperate, the Mammal Society advises using strychnine, which can be obtained only with written permission from the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs. Professional contractors called in may use pellets that emit toxic gases in the tunnels. This can be effective, but the moles may return later.
Gardening Which? suggests using strong smells, sound or vibration to scare them. Some people believe that burying bottles up to their necks in the ground, so that the wind howls across the opening, sends moles scarpering. Which? advises against ultrasound deterrents, which cannot travel through the ground and are, it believes, a bit of a scam. Pickled onions, mothballs, garlic or even Chanel No 5 are all said to work. But the most effective repellant, says Which?, is Renardine. However, it smells strongly of foxes and you may get rid of the moles only to find 30 horsemen and hounds in your garden asking if you saw where Basil Brush went.