You’re a 17-year-old girl, an in-betweener, still keeping a teddy on your bed. You’re, like, “so over” this and that and (obviously) the other, which means you’re infinitely jaded and world-weary, even as you’re endlessly up-for-it and totally fearless (except when you’re also a bit scared). And, of course, you’re in love and out of love, and so, like, whatever about that stuff. And all of it with an oily T-zone. Life is relentlessly exhausting.
Thirty years ago, in April 1981, I turned 17 and was living in London, with my dad (my mum had moved back home to Australia). Just thinking about being 17 makes my solar plexus churn: half-adult, half-child, pushing boundaries, wanting to be loved, missing my mum, arguing with my dad, too cool for school, dyeing my hair, failing exams. I was your classic messed-up, middle-class, urban teenage narcissist. But a few things in the outside world did impinge on my consciousness: Mrs Thatcher, Britain in recession, President Reagan, Brideshead on the telly, rioting in Brixton and Toxteth, Aldaniti winning the Grand National, Shergar the Derby, and, perhaps most important, McEnroe reversing 1980’s result to beat Borg in the Wimbledon men’s singles final, aka The Greatest Tennis Match Ever (if, like me, you were McEnroe’s girl. Technically, of course, TGTME was the 1980 final. But, like, whatever). And, of course, that summer, “shy” Lady Di — the pretty, aristocratic nursery-school assistant with the pudding basin haircut, piecrust collars, see-through skirts, great legs and impressive décolleté — married Prince Charles.
As a black-clad, cigarette-smoking, edgy-music-loving teen, I didn’t give a monkey’s about that. Not in public, anyway. Privately, however, I was obsessed. In a world with few young female role models for 17-year-olds (in 1981 my icons included Debbie Harry, Chrissie Hynde and Siouxsie Sioux — respectively 36, 30 and 24), seeing the young and beautiful virgin Diana offered up for the nation’s (never mind Charles’s) delectation, it was impossible not to enjoy the hype.
These days, there’s a veritable pick’n’mix of glam teens leading exciting lives — from Lourdes Ciccone Leon (not yet 15, but already pretty much 21) to the American “bad girls” Taylor Momsen, 17, and Demi Lovato, 18, via the Disney stars Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez, both 18, or the 20-year-old multi-millionaire model/actress/undergrad Emma Watson. But back in a pre-Madonna, post-punk 1981, neither Bonnie Langford nor Lena Zavaroni were leading lives I related to in the slightest.
Anyway, on July 29, 1981, I found myself watching the royal wedding in a flat so close to Buckingham Palace, I could hear the crowds in the Mall, at which point I decided to head outside for a closer look. Which also meant I was in exactly the right place — just outside the gates of Buck House — at the right time to catch that balcony kiss.
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And it was lovely — if only because, by then, the nation had entirely suspended any lingering doubts or cynicism; we were as willing to be swept along in the moment as the teenage Diana had been prepared to be swept off her feet by a prince who didn’t love her. Even for a 17-year-old with silly hair, watching a newlywed, meringue-wearing princess being kissed right in front of her is a moment she doesn’t forget.
Thirty years and one dead “fairy-tale” princess later, do 17-year-old girls still have a tiara thing going on? Will this year’s royal wedding speak to the savvy modern teen’s inner Cinderella? Do they even have an inner Cinderella anymore? And can Kate Middleton ever be anybody’s idea of a role model?
Kat Wakefield turns 18 on April 26 (“so I’ll probably still be hungover by the wedding!”). She’s on a media course at Peterborough Regional College and hopes to go to university in the autumn. She is smart and funny, with some unexpected heroines: “I’m a girly-girl and I love pop, and though I’m not particularly interested in American stars my age, I’m mad about the Spice Girls, who were big when I was, like, three! But I also like shouty bands — lots of my friends are metalheads.” So, given all this, is Kat interested in the wedding?
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“I wish I’d seen Diana’s wedding, because she was iconic. I’ve spoken to my mum about it a lot — she loved Diana — and I’ll definitely watch this one. It’s a ‘fluffy head’ moment; we’ll all want to see the dress. I’ll probably watch at home with my mum, my little brother and my mum’s friend, who’s coming over from America. My dad might give it a miss, though.” Oh, and Kat has a confession: “I definitely dream about my wedding. I’ve actually already chosen the venue, but I’m single at the moment.”
Meanwhile, Hattie Sanders turns 17 on April 29. Has Kate Middleton stolen her thunder? “Actually, it’s quite good — the bank holiday means I get a four-day birthday.” Hattie is studying for A levels in chemistry, biology, maths and statistics, and English (“I want to be a doctor, like my aunt”) and lives near Stratford-upon-Avon. “With most celebs you hear lots about their weddings before they happen, but William and Kate aren’t really in Heat, are they?” But Hattie admits she’s quite intrigued by Middleton: “When you think about the royal family, they’re kind of Victorian, but Kate seems so normal, so it must be a bit weird for her.”
A fan of Channel 4’s My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, Hattie thinks it would be “awesome” if Kate and William went superbling for theirs, but she isn’t holding her breath. Either way, she’ll still be watching — “Well, there’ll be nothing else on, so we may as well.” And then she adds, just a touch wistfully: “It would be nice to have a massive wedding one day.”
The Londoner Rosa Prichard will be 18 in June and hopes to study architecture at UCL after a gap year. “I’m slightly uninterested in this wedding, but some of my friends have got a group about it on Facebook. They want us to all go out on the 29th and watch. And though it’s kind of tongue in cheek, we probably will. Nearly every girl of my generation probably had some kind of jokey crush on William, so...”
Rosa is clearly a “cool” 17-year-old — she likes Alexa and Florence, but not the American TV stars — so I wasn’t ready for her confession: “When I get married I want to wear my mum’s old wedding dress. I once asked her if I could try it on, but she said she couldn’t find it. She does have it, though.” Is it a big meringue? “Hm, it’s a classy, understated meringue!”
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Three lovely, bright 17-year-olds leading different lives, and yet, when I asked, not one hadn’t had a wedding fantasy — about dresses and venues and maybe even a (classy, understated) “Big Fat Do”.
So, beneath the oily T-zones, eyeliner, A-level meltdowns, boyfriend crises, good/bad hair days and statement shoes — and 30 years on from my own punky-princess fantasies — the Cinderella dream is apparently alive and well, even for today’s supersophisticated in-betweeners. And while I won’t pretend I’m not slightly surprised, the part of me that will always remain 17 is, secretly, just a tiny bit thrilled.
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Then and now: What a difference three decades make
17 in 1981
Fostering a (secret, guilty) crush on Anthony Andrews in Brideshead Revisited, if only he’d lose Aloysius
Hero-worshipping Debbie Harry, Siouxsie and Chrissie Hynde, but secretly wanting to look like Cheryl Tiegs
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Shopping in Oxfam and Topshop, dreaming of Browns
Listening to Bauhaus, dancing to Madness
Hanging out in McDonalds and Wimpy
Dreaming of snogging Paul Simonon or John McEnroe
Starting to read Midnight’s Children, finishing Jilly Cooper’s Octavia, Imogen and Prudence
Girls’ night-out movie: Mommie Dearest
Wanting a Sony Trinitron in your bedroom, getting a Sony Walkman
17 in 2011
Fostering a (secret, guilty) crush on Rob James-Collier in Downton Abbey, if only his character wasn’t evil. And gay
Hero-worshipping Amy, Florence and Ritzy Bryan, but secretly wanting to look like Cheryl Cole
Shopping in Oxfam and Topshop, dreaming of Acne
Listening to the Joy Formidable, dancing to Beyoncé
Hanging out in Gourmet Burger Kitchen and Costa
Dreaming of snogging Alex Turner (sorry, Alexa) or Andy Murray
Starting to read The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet, finishing two Jane Greens, a Lisa Jewell and a Cecelia Ahern
Girls’ night-out movie: Black Swan
Wanting an iPad, getting an iPhone
Above, a coach tour of Kate Middleton's childhood haunts