When girlfriends turn 40, I usually write in their cards: “Don’t worry. From now on the jewellery gets better.” I mean it sincerely. Unless she comes from money, it’s only after 40 that a woman feels entitled to nice jewels. High-street clothes are fine and fun. But with good jewellery, a woman in midlife should, if the means are available, take the “If not now, when?” approach. This applies whether it is bought by or for her, with the exception of gifts from children, which are priceless, of course.
I have a fair amount of jewellery that I treasure: pretty rings and bangles with sentimental as well as dollar value from Chanel, Alex Monroe and Maria Black; some vintage bits I must remember to put on the insurance; and bold, architectural, fashiony cuffs and necklaces from Lara Bohinc for showing off.
I sound quite rich, don’t I? I am not. I am just a common old spendthrift with a teeny tiny fashion habit. I am also a massive tightwad. I have haggled in Tesco; “Discount for cash?” is one of my most overused phrases. I fly almost exclusively on Ryanair and my jewellery is too precious to me to sling into a suitcase on foreign holidays. But it seems such a shame not to wear it in Spain or Greece, especially when I am sporting my “barefoot glamour”, “VIP hippy” and “last night of the holiday” outfits (my wardrobe has many, many categories).
So a year or so ago I started a collection called “easyJet joaillerie”, beginning with some chandelier earrings from H&M that I wouldn’t be too upset to lose. More recently, I have discovered a corner of Accessorize packed with ludicrously inexpensive but well-designed rings, necklaces and earrings. They look way too cool and considered for a high-street chain. I now have quite an accumulation of directional earrings for around a tenner, and I’m not just wearing them on holiday. When I first put in the sleeper earrings, friends didn’t ask where they were from: they asked who they were by.
Accessorize now has candy-store allure for me. I shop there in a frenzied manner – enjoying the experience but slightly panicking that it might stop selling jewellery or, worse, increase the prices. I can hardly walk past a branch without popping in to see what’s new in the store’s Z collection, dropping a few quid on, say, a necklace that everyone thinks is Monica Vinader.
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I am hoarding. Z is a diffusion line created by Zara Simon, who makes jewellery for real-life posh hippies – the ones in Ibiza/Mykonos/Kenya – all the time. She hangs with Poppy and Alexa, I’m told. She is also the daughter of Accessorize’s owner, Peter Simon. Her designs are so good, I’m conflicted in writing about Z. I don’t really want anyone else to know.
It’s all very “expensive bohemian” and just urban enough with stacking rings, ear cuffs and rope necklaces; not too girlie, but not so unconventional you couldn’t wear them for work. Most items are a couple of pounds more than Accessorize’s regular jewels. There are beaded hoops for a tenner, pendants for £12. Piling on the rings, layering the necklaces and loading up my wrists with gold (plate) is the best kind of cheap fashion thrill.
It is the kind of rush only a serious bargain seeker can understand. Paying full price for “labels” is failure as far as I am concerned. But finding well-designed schmutter in cheapo shops is a buzz in a class of its own. I can still remember how it felt to get my hands on the Anya Hindmarch for Target handbag in 2008. I have some “real” Hindmarch, but the £15 bag (excluding shipping costs from the States) made me more giddy. Same for the Altuzarra for Target blouse I found online earlier this year.
Such extreme diffusion lines and collaborations make me weak. The more under the radar, the better. Who cares about Isabel Marant or Alexander Wang for H&M when you can find excellent, stealthy Marant lookalikes in the Marks & Spencer footwear department almost every season? I bought the Marant-style Dicker boots in M&S last year. So comfy! God, I love Footglove technology.
I am lucky to have the opportunity to test beauty products worth hundreds of pounds. But the mascara I cannot resist – as recommended by a top make-up artist paid to promote a much pricier brand – is Miss Sporty Fabulous Lash Xtra Black (£1.99; boots.com). It is just so lashy. I have a weakness for Tresemmé Keratin Smooth Restoring Conditioner, which is excellent as a leave-in conditioner for dry hair. The fact it’s £2.47 a bottle (Superdrug) makes combing it in all the more joyous.
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Uniqlo is another Scrooge’s paradise. I have a couple of pairs of Current/Elliott jeans (around £200 full price), but I love my Uniqlo stretch numbers more. They’re as comfortable as pyjamas and, like all well-cut jeans, high enough at the back so there’s no danger of a sourire du plombier, as the French elegantly describe it. They cost £34. I have my eye on the Ultra Light Down jacket (£39.90) – it’s the skinflint’s Moncler. But I think I’ll sit tight for it to come down in the sale.
Less is more
By Rachael Dove
1 The make-up: Barbara Daly Trade Secrets Every Base Daily Foundation (£7.99; Tesco). The Mumsnet mums were up in arms last year when Tesco discontinued the Face Lift foundation range from the Barbara Daly make-up range. Luckily, it was replaced by something just as good and just as cheap. The Vital Skin Long Wear Foundation, with SPF20 (£9.99), and the eyebrow pencils (£2.99) are great buys, too. Use your Clubcard at checkout when buying anything from the range and you’ll double your points. You’re welcome.
2 The swimwear: Golden Point bikinis (goldenpoint.com). Popular in Europe, but largely unknown here, this online Italian label sells lingerie, pyjamas and tights online, but it’s the swimwear that those in the know go for. We like the tie-sided bottoms (from £12.99) and halter tops (from £9.99). Plus there’s the perfect navy one-piece (£21.50) that has all the sophistication of a Heidi Klein number for a fifth of the price.
3 The jeans: Asos Ridley skinny jeans (£30; asos.com). Look like J.Brand, feel like J.Brand. Cost £30. The high-waisted Ridley jeans hold everything where you want them to, but the cotton and elastane fabric allows for stretch. Tip: buy a size bigger than you usually wear; they’re a tight fit.
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4 The watch: Olivia Burton Timeless camel and gold watch (£85; oliviaburton.com). Leather straps, crystal faces and gold-plated casings, at prices starting from £60 – Olivia Burton watches look far swankier than their price tag.
5 The bag: Whistles small clutch (£40; whistles.com). Can’t afford Céline? Head to Whistles for this butter-soft leather clutch, which has all the stealth-wealth qualities of the much instagrammed Céline clutch pouch and is big enough to slip your phone and credit card inside. You could spend what you save and have your initials laser-engraved on the front (try krintech.co.uk).
6 The jacket: Zara blazer (£39.99; zara.com). No need to pay Saint Laurent prices for your le smoking – the style set top up their wardrobes with Zara blazers. The lined double-fabric version is made from a comfy cotton mix, which means you can get away with putting it on a cold wash in the washing machine. So no dry-cleaning bills.