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Everywhere and nowhere

Romanian prosecutors have closed a case involving a lawsuit against God because it could not summon the defendant after two years of legal proceedings. The complaint was filed by Pavel Mircea, 40, who is serving a 20-year prison sentence for murder but took God to court for not keeping his part of the baptism arrangement and failing to protect him from Satan’s influence. A court in the western city of Timisoara accepted the lawsuit and initiated legal proceedings.

According to Mircea, the Romanian Orthodox Church was a direct representative of God in Romania and should therefore compensate him for the alleged damage. He said: “By the act of baptism I concluded a legally binding contract with God and he was supposed to protect me from evil. But he did not fulfil his contractual obligations – I found myself in the hands of the devil.”

The court spent two years trying to find God’s address, but has now closed the case after concluding that the defendant could not be summoned for a hearing.

The decision might prove a useful precedent when that form arrives asking who was driving your car when it was photographed doing 60 in a 30mph zone. “It was God. Address? No idea.” Unless, of course, you’re Richard Dawkins...

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