Davos diary

Davos wags who have been long-time observers of Schwab’s magisterial manner lost little time in noting that Schwab will become a KCMG — a Knight Commander of the Order of St Michael and St George — but that the acronym is also jokingly said to stand for “Kindly call me God”.

But as a foreigner, of course, he will not be known as “Sir Klaus”.

INDIA’S bid for world domination took a stumble after it gave out funky new iPods, those little portable music devices, to all the delegates.

It was all part of a major Indian PR drive that has engulfed Davos, aimed at persuading international investors that the sub-continent is going to take over China. The only trouble was that the US-designed iPod, which was loaded with Indian music, had a giveaway little sign on the back: “Made in China.”

Off-message

Gordon Brown may not have talked to his old political foe, Peter Mandelson, since the latter was made European Trade Commissioner in 2004 but the Chancellor still clearly feels his all-seeing presence.

While Mr Brown was cheerily denouncing EU trade policy to delegates behind closed doors, a pager went off nearby. “Is that a message from Peter?” he asked, quick as a flash.

ENTREPRENEURS who use their own names to brand their companies always inspire a degree of suspicion. But not all such entrepreneurs are raging egotists, it seems. In a session on global branding, Michael Dell, founder of Dell computers, admitted that the brand was created by accident.

Originally his company was branded as PCs Limited. But when it wanted to open in the UK it was decided that the name didn’t work and Mr Dell was so busy that a lawyer picked the eponymous label for him.

“I never intended my name to be the name of the company but in the end it had worked out OK!” he joked. “A lawyer came up with the name, that is exactly how this brand was created.”

January 27

Relations between China and Japan are so sensitive that jokes tend not to be the best form of bilateral diplomacy, but one academic risked all during a Davos lunch on easing tension in east Asia.

The plucky humorist suggested that the eternally complex, often vexed relations between Beijing and Tokyo were much like those between two elephants: when the elephants fought, the grass got trampled; and when the elephants made love, the grass got trampled.

There is no doubt that, Bono aside, the real rock stars in Davos are the private equity maestros who can`t believe to what degree their status has been transformed since the days when some suspected that LBO stood for Louse Buy Out. They have more money than they can invest, social ranking that is in the stratosphere for mere men of money and more testosterone than a rugby changing room.

One puckish executive joked that he would extend his influence even further by offering directorships to the US Congressmen who gave their names to the Sarbanes-Oxley legislation that overhauled corporate governance.

Senator Paul Sarbanes and Congressman Michael Oxley are both about to leave Congress and the exec thought they would better appreciate what havoc they have caused if they worked at actual companies. And, it went without saying, that the politicians` reputations would be enhanced no end if they entered the private equity pantheon and rubbed shoulders with the gods.

January 26

We hear that the mere mention of Sharon Stone caused a mini stampede at a queue outside the Forum’s welcome reception when it was rumoured that the Hollywood star was swapping her moon boots for Manolos just a little further down the security line.

Camera men abandoned their posts, CEOs lost their cool. Even the Swiss guard in charge of checking participants’ badges was momentarily distracted. Sadly, says our man in the snow, it turned out to be a false alert.

We have confirmation. That’s right. Brad Pitt has been seen in Davos. He flew in this morning . Our spy in the airport security line says Mr Pitt was given a “thorough pat down” by the chap guarding Switzerland.

“It’s true,” says our swooning source. “He’s even prettier than Angelina.”

We hear several Davos delegates appear to be ain a state of “deep consternation” at the prospect of Blackberry being forced to close down its mobile e-mail service. The maker of the handheld gadgets could be forced to shut down if it loses a crucial patent battle currently running in the US courts. Earlier this week, the US Supreme Court refused to hear an appeal from Research in Motion, the company that runs the Blackberry service, which means the case grinds on.

“Something must be done,” cries one despondent Blackberry fiend.

We dare not disagree. But have you ever wondered why people call Blackberries “Crackberries”?

By way of an explanation, CNN has cited a study by the University of London’s Institute of Psychiatry, commissioned by Hewlett-Packard, which finds that “an average worker’s functioning IQ falls 10 points when distracted by ringing telephones and incoming e-mails ... more than double the four-point drop seen following studies on the impact of smoking marijuana.”

January 25 2006

Forget the price of oil and the value of the yuan. The real issue at this year’s Davos is quite plain: does one wear a tie, or not?

Word has it that the true Davos veterans are battling on regardless – and tieless – shrugging off the more formal sartorial leanings of several less experienced attendees. We are informed that Lord Levene, Chairman of Lloyd’s of London, and Christopher Rodrigues, CEO of VISA International, have been leading the reactionary line, firmly upholding Davos’s proud smart-casual tradition.

Meanwhile, it’s the new kids on the block – most notably, we understand, the Indian and Chinese delegates – who are raising the stakes, sporting a plethora of immaculately tied full-Windsors.

“What next, braces and bowlers?” splutters one old-school stalwart. “Irreverent upstarts just aren’t what they were,” we do our best to explain.

OK. Scratch that. The real real issue is whether Brad Pitt is in Davos. “Nobody’s spotted him but everybody sure he’s here,” explains our breathless female source. Mr Pitt is of course, the current beau of Davos regular, Angelina Jolie.

Our normally unflappable contact continues: “Everything is like blah, blah, blah… but have you seen Brad?”

Well, here’s a suggestion: Brad’s not been to Davos before, so look for a slightly lost film star. Wearing a tie.

Thought Café police

The PwC Thought Café offered the most stimulating experience in Davos last night, we hear. As the forum geared up for today’s opening proper, early birds gathered there to hear Sam DiPiazza, the PricewaterhouseCoopers CEO, front a discussion on executive concerns.

Apparently, the world’s business leaders are focused on the issues of globalisation and the “complexity” it introduces into business. According to a PwC survey, these “two powerful and inevitable forces … are top of mind among CEOs globally.”

However, from what we hear, the major worry of many delegates is just how to get into the Thought Café. Over the years, the venue has become a favoured watering hole of the Davos elite (read Angelina Jolie and Bono). Thus mere mortals have been left in the cold. “It’s strictly white badges only in there,” laments one lesser accredited attendee. “Which is a real shame as it looks nice and warm from the outside.”

January 24

There is a definite feeling among the media hordes already congregating in Davos, says our in-situ source, that this year’s event is going “back to basics”.

Sure, she explains, everybody knows the real action will happen in the evenings at the après-seminar get-togethers for which Davos is famous. But the star factor just isn’t going to figure in the same manner as it did last year. Of course, she says, the celebrity stalwarts – Angelina Jolie, Bono et al – will make an appearance. But don’t expect an encore of Sharon Stone’s performance last year, where the actress famously interrupted a session to chivvy a band of businessmen into emptying their wallets for a good cause. “That’s just so 2005,” says our lady on the ground. “If there’s one thing a visionary business leader can’t stand, it’s being bossed around. They aren’t going to put up with it two year’s in a row.”

But who needs celebrities when you’ve got CEO-sized egos to massage? One of our spies, who happens to be embedded with one of the television crews in Davos, says that a potentially massive row is brewing between the TV bods and the poor souls responsible for ferrying the very largest egos in and out of the event.

Apparently, having spent several hours setting up their cameras and sat-trucks, the TV people discovered this morning that the suitably alpine spot they had been directed to is right next to the helipad. The prospect of being interrupted mid-soundbite by the roar of rotor blades has editors hoppng mad in newsrooms around the world.

Bets are already being taken on who will be forced to relocate. “Now we’re getting down to the nitty gritty on who runs the show,” says our conspiratorial source. “Don’t you see? We’re finally going to see who needs whom the most – the media or delegates.”

Quick weather update for anybody heading to Davos in the next couple of days. Our man on the spot says the weather is currently “glorious”. “It’s a beautiful, clear, calm day,” he says.

Rony Abovitz made something of a name for himself last year when he reported on the World Economic Forum’s official site that Eason Jordan, at that point CNN’s chief news executive, had told a panel at Davos that the US military was deliberately targeting journalists in Iraq.

Cue “Eason-gate” and Mr Jordan’s departure from CNN as the story snowballed in the mainstream media.

Mr Abovitz now has another site, the humbly entitled FixTheWorld blog. Unsurprisingly, he’s levelling himself against the famous “Chatham House rules”. or off-the-record policy, imposed by the organisers on many of the most interesting sessions at Davos. “All of the private sessions are ‘off-the-record meetings’ and are not to be blogged,” the WEF insists. At the same time, as Mr Abovitz notes, the body is asking every single Davos delegate to post at least one comment on its own blog.

“The Forum may be acting out a delicate Kabuki dance, trying to balance the privacy and elitism subscribed to by many of its members with the practical reality that information in today’s world is hard to control,” Mr Abovitz says.

So, according to Mr Abovitz, we should be bracing ourselves for a flood of unstoppable blogger-driven scandals over the next four days or so. Right? Don’t bet on it. The blogger who really did do Davos reckons we’ll see “newbie [new] bloggers try to force a juicy blog story ... Lots of ‘Holy cow I just saw ____’ and ... Maybe 1-2 real tidbits of something interesting.”

Let’s see.