A High Court judge has ruled that a married couple battling over the custody of two children must set up a “closed and encrypted” WhatsApp group that should include their children and members of their extended families to avoid “excessive tensions” building up.
The order came at the end of a lengthy custody battle fought over an eight-year-old girl and her three-year-old brother. The judge Henry Abbott awarded primary custody to the children's father, after expressing concern that their mother had attempted to alienate the girl from her father.
The mother said her husband, a businessman, had “behavioural issues” and violent tendencies. The husband said his wife’s obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) had marred their relationship.
The woman entered into evidence a text in which the husband told her: “I never loved you. Everyone said I dropped my standards [by] marrying into a lazy-arse, weirdo family #successfulDad.”
Abbott said this was “the text of a bully and a troll” and could not be tolerated by the court. However, the judge said the woman had shown an anxiety to control all aspects of her husband’s interactions with their children. He did not regard household violence as a significant feature of the case. These concerns would be addressed by the couple living apart and “behaving” at handovers of the children.
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A court-appointed expert said she believed the mother suffered from OCD, and noted the “show house” cleanliness of her home at a 10am visit, and little evidence the children had been allowed to play before going to school.
The mother attempted to enter into evidence two photographs she said were of the children’s rooms showing a profusion of toys. After hearing evidence from an engineer, Abbott ruled the mother had “fabricated” the photographs.
The judge said the freedom of the children and their personal development were being challenged by the “extreme tendencies of the wife”. The children had “a better chance” of development with the father given primary custody.
Abbot said a WhatsApp group would allow communications about news and photographs affecting the children to be shared, but should not include texts about the legal case or difficulties about their private lives. With agreement it should be expanded to include grandparents, an aunt or uncle and not more than two cousins.
The judge said WhatsApp had the advantage that it may be used “ad lib” without compulsion to respond or initiate at a preordained time. He said their three-year-old son should be permitted to use somebody’s device.