So sue me: I liked Center Parcs, even though the odds were dramatically stacked against it. I’m not speaking “ironically” either when I say that Center Parcs as an experience is very definitely cool. I’m certainly not the first to say it but I might be the first to write it because Center Parcs has suffered in the past from what you might call an image problem.
Let’s consider the facts: Center Parcs (there are four in Britain with plans for another in Buckinghamshire) are large “camps” upon which families come together for a spot of R&R. They don’t want me to mention the C word, but I’m going to have to because, frankly, the accommodation is chalet-style, there are lots of planned activities and the food is, in general, mediocre. No doubt what is coming to mind is a sort of Hi-de-Hi! type of experience.
But Center Parcs is different for many reasons, the prime one being that the place is large enough and well designed enough for you not to feel corralled into “joining in”. When I say join in, I’m not talking about the boundless sporting activities on offer (you’d be mad not to have a go at abseiling, riding, climbing or just being pampered in their spa), I’m talking about the “entertainment” for which companies like Butlins are renowned. Should you (like us) run a mile at the mention of the words “tribute band”, “dinner dance” or even “Pop in the Park”, then you can jump on your bikes and pedal madly in the opposite direction towards your chalet, sorry, room, in the woods, where you can hang out, cook food, watch TV or sweat in the sauna in what feels like, thanks to clever design, solitude.
There’s a particular merit to CP now, of course, since holidaying abroad has become a measure of one’s insensitivity to the eco-system. CP began life as a Dutch company who prided themselves on eco-sustainable tourism, a concept they transported over here when they first began CP in 1967. All CP sites cover less than 10 per cent of the forest they are built in and are managed by an environmental management team, which pays particular attention to wildlife and its environment. In Elveden Forest where we stayed, the wildlife was “large”. On the way to our first appointment of the day (7.40am scuba-diving) we spied what looked like an enormous rubber grass snake on our pathway. Only it wasn’t rubber.
Before I left for my dreaded CP weekend, I called in on two girlfriends, who are coincidentally two of the most stylish women I know. When I confessed to our destination, they almost choked on their pink champagne. “You’ll love it,” said the Marni-wearing one. “We did.” The other (in Marc Jacobs sparkly shoes), seeing the look of shock on my face, grabbed my arm comfortingly. “You know what you have to do to make it OK?” she said. “Embrace the concept.” Readers, I could give you no better advice.
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www.centerparcs.co.uk; coolhunter@thetimes.co.uk