IT HAS TAKEN JOSÉ MOURINHO a week to discover the truth of Spike Milligan’s assertion that money will not buy you friends but it will get you a better class of enemy. Bottomless pits for pockets in West London have turned Sir Alex Ferguson, Steve Bruce and a nation of neutrals into a committed bunch of ambulance chasers. While the wait for the wheels to fall off continues, the gripers must content themselves with specious talk about gamesmanship and sleep-inducing tactics. “I don’t think he’s even remotely bothered about trying to entertain,” Bruce said of the Chelsea manager after a harsh defeat. Et tu, Bruce.
Poor old José. Now that Claudio Ranieri’s nutty uncle act is history, any lingering sympathy has ebbed away. Perhaps this is because Mourinho has the natural warmth of a scene from Taggart. Perhaps it is pure envy. Either way, few managers could have had such a hard time of it after starting a new job with two wins over difficult opponents.
It is easy to take Mourinho’s proclamations out of context. Some might point to his habit of referring to Robbie Savage as “that blond guy” as proof of an inveterate arrogance. Yet Mourinho was full of praise for Birmingham and, given Savage still plays like a Pavlovian dog at bellringing practice and confessed to catching Mateja Kezman with an elbow, any disdain for the Welsh provocateur was understandable. The grousing about tactics is also churlish. From Raquel Welch sauntering down the touchline at Stamford Bridge and waving at Peter Osgood to the ability to squander any lead, Chelsea have a tradition of entertaining. Mourinho should not be castigated because he prefers to win.
That he did so at St Andrew’s without any great style was actually testament to Birmingham’s qualities rather than his own negativity. Savage and Muzzy Izzet form an industrious engine, Stan Lazaridis and Jesper Gronkjaer provide width and Emile Heskey is far less likely than Christophe Dugarry to slump into angst-ridden torpor. Add a very good manager and lashings of team spirit and you have a side that will give anyone a game.
Mourinho lauded Birmingham’s enthusiasm, risk and courage. “We had to sweat a lot to take these points,” he said. He also spoke of the importance to match their team ethic. “The base of my side is spirit. Some of the players who were not selected were calling the dressing-room beforehand on their mobile phones to wish us well. That is great.” Bruce echoed that sentiment. “He’s not going to change his beliefs, but tactics are a minor issue. It’s about desire, spirit and ability,” he said.
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Birmingham’s ability to hurt their opponents was blighted by an injury to Clinton Morrison and an agreement not to play Mikael Forssell, who is on a season-long loan from Chelsea. Even so, they might have been out of sight by the break. One senses Heskey may rediscover himself under Bruce’s tutelage, but finishing remains a worrying foible for an England wannabe. When he intercepted Wayne Bridge’s appalling backpass and cut a swath to goal, few can have been confident that he would convert the chance. It took a fine save from Petr Cech to deny him, but as Bruce pointed out, opportunities needed to be taken.
Julian Gray, who had an otherwise impressive game on the left flank, was more culpable still, sidefooting against a post and then skying the rebound. It is wrong to mistake bad shots for bad luck, but Birmingham were unfortunate when the struggling Paulo Ferreira handled inside his own area. It is surely a matter of time before Glen Johnson replaces the least impressive of the new arrivals.
It would also be nice to see Joe Cole given a run. If anyone wants a genuine reason to dislike Chelsea then look no further than the way they are blighting the career of Britain’s most naturally gifted midfield player. Cole, a lilting talent and a game-changer, seems destined to be a bit-part player who is underused and overcriticised. That England prefer solid broilers such as Phil Neville and Owen Hargreaves is damning proof that you do not have to be from Portugal to be negative.
A second-half substitute, Cole added verve to a Chelsea side stifled by the Birmingham five-man midfield. If his decisive shot took a large deflection off Martin Taylor, it was just reward for his imagination. With Cole the catalyst for improvement, Chelsea finished strongly and would have added to their lead but for the wastefulness of Frank Lampard and Didier Drogba. At the other end, the imposing partnership of Ricardo Carvalho and John Terry was rarely troubled after the break.
So to the controversy. The banana Ferrari in the car park is evidence of Savage’s refusal to go quietly, and he took time out from a running feud with Carvalho to fell Kezman. Savage, Bruce and Heskey were adamant it was an accident. “He’s crazy but he would not do that on purpose,” Heskey said. “No case to answer,” Bruce added. “In my country, Italy, Spain or South America, that is the culture, but you are the kings of fair play,” Mourinho said. “That’s why I was surprised.”
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Those who think Savage is precisely the type to throw an elbow might consider he has never been sent off. Reputations, it seems, are not always accurate and six points and two clean sheets suggest Mourinho’s methods are bang on the money.
LOOK WHO’S TALKING . . .
“Our defensive record was second only to Chelsea last year and let’s hope that can continue. It comes naturally to me to have us defensively organised”
Bruce on Birmingham, August 17, 2004
“You saw how the Chelsea manager played last year with Porto. I don’t think he is going to change his beliefs. He will do what he has to do. I don’t think he’s even remotely bothered about trying to entertain”
Bruce on Chelsea, August 21, 2004