Guys, there’s a new coat in town. There’s a new covering, a new system, a new way of actually being. There was no real warning, no sounding shot, no flag raised. It’s not as though we saw this coming. One day we were all wandering around in pea coats, trenches, oversized puffers and double-breasted numbers that trailed on the floor. And then, bam, a new kid was on the block. And she was made of fringed wool.
Let’s be frank: the best thing about autumn and winter is always the coats. Almost up there are shorter days (I realise that it may be only me who likes life in the dark). Then there are roasted chestnuts and hot food. (Anyone for a radish? Are you joking?) And there are other absolute back-of-the-net super-wins: the run-up to Christmas, the fairy lights in the windows and the orange, crunchy leaves. But the main upside has always – and will always be – coats.
This year, though, just as we were getting excited about the usual warm objects that make us happy, along comes another genre – a whole new variety, a brand-new genus. Fashion scientists will marvel at this specimen for decades to come. “What? It just came into being? Does it have a Latin name?”
It’s basically (and I’m not sure how to really word this) a blanket. I know, I know. Let’s not panic. You could also call it a poncho, a shawl, a throw or an enormous scarf. But it is so much more than that. This new object, this novel offering, is relaxed to the point of “What? Am I out? Yeah, thought I’d just pop by”, which is always good and what we should all be aiming for (I’m not speaking to you, Lady Gaga, Madonna and Beyoncé – as you were, keep being fabulous).
This is so cool it’s horizontal. It’s Paul Newman or a grilled cheese or a tousled hairstyle. It’s turning up to the party quite late, but with a hilarious story. It’s waking up looking spectacular. It’s the clothing equivalent of throwing a dinner for ten with an hour’s notice. You can get one that’s block colour or speckled (I love speckled) or you can get a massive stripy one. But there are a couple of rules when it comes to this new accessory: it absolutely must not be thin (if we wanted to wear a pashmina we’d invent a time machine and land in 1991) and bigger is better. Go heavy, go monster, this thing must be massive. Think of it as a cashmere tent. It should dwarf you, it should drown you out (thus amplifying you, if you will) and it should definitely trail in puddles after a particularly great night out.
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The actual queen of the throw is Gabriela Hearst, who is in charge of all things blanket. Go to her website and drool, then immediately tell your partner/child/parent/Santa that this is all you want for Christmas. It is excellent slung over slouchy jeans, an evening dress or pyjamas. Sarah Jessica Parker wore the rainbow one on the set of her new show and it sold out within 90 minutes. This is a signal to which we should all pay attention.
So, this is absolutely slam-dunk the real accessory we need this winter. It’s a coat, but not. I’ll see you out and about. And we’ll all be in cashmere bedspreads.
