Now shampoo really is shampoo.
Like Brexit means Brexit.
No, like champagne means shampoo.
Personally I’ve never called champers “shampoo”.
Neither have I. But the sort of people who might are apparently using champagne as shampoo.
What, using fizz to prevent frizz? Don’t you do that?
Funnily enough, no I do not.
They’re literally washing their hair with sparkling wine? Is this another grotesque stunt by those Rich Kids of Instagram?
Not quite. Rachel Katzman, the founder of Cuvée, a New York beauty company, got the idea when she went to Las Vegas for her 21st birthday and “got caught in a very heavy champagne shower”.
Oh yes, there are some strange meteorological phenomena in Nevada.
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According to the company’s website “twenty-one bottles later, Rachel realized that her hair looked BETTER drenched in champagne” than if it had been professionally styled.
St Paul’s experience on the road to Damascus lacks drama compared with this story.
Katzman has created hair products that contain champagne “extracts”.
That’s a bit of a cop-out. If you’re going to be decadent, you may as well pour a bottle of Bolly over your head.
The products also contain white truffle extracts, which are supposed to add moisture, and platinum extracts, which have claimed antioxidant properties.
I am sure they do. And I am equally sure that is exactly why people will buy it. Not because they are shallow enough to love the idea of washing their hair in champagne, truffle and platinum. Then I suppose they will start daubing their faces with caviar.
They already do that.
Silly me, of course they do.
You can buy caviar face cream at Aldi.
And I can see the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse heading down the street right now.
