They may never qualify for Stephen Fry’s telly programme, but, even so, here’s a couple of quite interesting facts about the British car industry.
The first is that more cars are built in Sunderland than in Italy. Last year the Nissan plant was at full pelt producing 500,000 vehicles, the majority of which were the bestselling Qashqai — pronounced “cash cow” in the northeast for all the money it is making.
Italy scrapes to producing nearly 400,000 vehicles a year since the decision of Fiat to build that most quintessentially Italian runaround, the Fiat 500, in Poland.
Here’s another. Getting on for half the 2.5 million cars a year sold in Britain are built in Germany. Not just all those Germanic VWs, BMWs and Mercs, but also most of the cars retailed by Britain’s two favourite brands, Ford and Vauxhall.
These stats and others are reasons why the automotive industry appears to be so relaxed about what many see as a potentially cataclysmic occurrence: an in-out European Union referendum.
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The view among industry executives is that, even if Britain were to withdraw from the EU, the trade in cars would be among the top reasons why trade barriers would be unlikely to go up. Why would Germans allow obstacles to its single biggest European auto export market?
The similar point about Nissan in Sunderland is that about four fifths of its production is bound for the Continent, which can’t get enough of the British-built Qashqai.
Which leaves us with the question central to the referendum debate: is all this Anglo-German trade because of the UK’s membership of the EU? Or despite it?
Paving the way
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Not since the invention of the pallet has the logistics industry been so intriguing. Business models such as City Link’s are being destroyed. Others are having to go back to find their future.
Connect is the company that used to be Smiths News, which used to be the newspaper distribution division of WH Smith. It is riding the ecommerce boom by buying the Tuffnells courier outfit and using its news and mags lorries overnight to deliver web-bought goods to news and mags shops for people who are never at their home when the internet van delivers. Perhaps Smiths — like the demerged Royal Mail and Post Office — should have kept that integrated shops and distribution model, after all.
Its great rival Menzies split news and mags distribution from its shops so long ago that ecommerce then was illicit dealing at a rock festival. Now Menzies, too, wants part of the online shopping boom. Its new boss, Jeremy Stafford, late of Serco — but let’s not hold that against him — has spotted something: his news and mags lorries stand idle for the daylight hours when they are not delivering news and mags.
Expect Mr Stafford at full-year results this week to reveal his strategic ruminations, which could lead to all those lorries thundering up and down the country 24/7 for the betterment of internet fulfilment.
Given that a fraction of a percentage point of all this ecommerce goes on the railways, it does make you wonder whether we’d be better off closing down the HS2 high-speed rail project and instead work up plans to double-decker the M1.
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Must do better
The AA, let’s be frank, is rubbish. Outside its good work as the fourth emergency service, it is best known for the stars it awards hotels. A brilliant brand position, with which the AA does next to nothing. It leaves websites such as tripadvisor and booking.com to eat their digital lunch, forsaking punters to wondering whether they can believe a word written on such sites. Oh, what you could do with an AA-branded hotel review website . . .
Another thing: the AA, through its own-brand motoring school and BSM subsidiary, has an extraordinary presence in the driving-lesson market. And what do they do with this hugely valuable database of driving-test graduates? Not much.
And AA Route Planner. Used by millions. Monetised at zilch.
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But don’t take my word for it. This is the view of Bob Mackenzie, the man aiming to turn round the AA. His succinct word for the business, not including core roadside assistance, is “crap”. If the AA is still crap this time next year, we’ll know whom to call.
It’s showtime
The British Motor Show was scrapped when our industry was an embarrassment. At last week’s Geneva Motor Show, our heritage brands, such as Aston Martin, Bentley, Lotus, Rolls-Royce and Mini, to use an industry phrase, blew the bleedin’ doors off. Jaguar Land Rover now employs more than 30,000 people, for goodness’ sake.
A revived British Motor Show would be a showcase for an industry that many thought had died. It would be an attraction and inspiration to a generation who don’t remember the Ford Escort. The SMMT retains the rights to such a show. It is time they got their heads out from under the bonnet.