Changing sexuality is more common among women than men, and when men do switch it is usually from heterosexual to homosexual, says Dr Victoria Clarke, a reader in sexuality studies at the University of the West of England, Bristol. This is, Clarke explains, for cultural and social reasons.
“In the past, social pressures made it difficult for men to live openly as homosexuals and there was a huge amount of risk associated with doing so. Many men who knew that they were gay conformed, married and had children, and sometimes led compartmentalised lives in which their gay behaviour was conducted privately.
“It still happens. If some of these men later decide to live openly as homosexuals, it doesn’t mean that they are switching their sexuality, only that social mores have changed.
“There is evidence that while the way people identify their sexuality to others might change, their behaviour might not. It’s also possible for sexual behaviour to change over a lifetime, but it’s more common for people to change how they categorise their sexuality than to change their behaviour.”
Pyschologists do not yet agree on any cause for homosexuality, though research has been done on genetics, differences in the brain and whether the way we are nurtured is a factor. Dr Clarke is not persuaded by any of the theories. “I think that how we experience sexual feelings is a social process, which is not to say that it doesn’t have a material component.”
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Penny Mansfield, the director of One plus One, which researches family relationships, points out that it is not unusual for people to reach a stage at which they want to settle down in a stable relationship and have children, though this commonly happens in the late twenties or early thirties.
“People may have had uncommitted relationships, and a lot of fun, and then decide to focus on a relationship that will give them stabilty and security. That’s common. What’s unusual is for someone who has regarded himself as homosexual to decide to go down the traditional heterosexual route, especially when it’s possible to have a child within a homosexual relationship. Perhaps there’s a perception that there’s more security in the traditional model.”
Patrick Muirhead’s desire to be needed is also significant, says Mansfield, who cites the sociologist Robert Weiss’s six social provisions for relationships, one of which is being needed for love and care.
“This is often under-emphasised in analysis of love and relationships, but it’s a very powerful way of looking at relationships. If you want to have a relationship that will flourish, you need to look beyond yourself. Successful relationships are where there’s a level of interdependency. That’s a continuous balance between your needs and theirs, and it requires some deftness to get it right.”