6:18min Flynn Carson (Noah Wyle) is chided for spending his life buried in books. “It used to be thought that people wanted to work in libraries because they wanted somewhere to hide,” Mary says. “But libraries are like community centres now,” Stuarts argues. “At our library we have singing, dancing, music, everything,” Hai Yan enthuses.
11:33min Flynn has an interview at the gothic Metropolitan Public Library. “It certainly doesn’t resemble ours,” Mary laughs.
14:14min Asked why he wants the job, Flynn says he has read a lot of books. “Bad answer: you’ve got to know about people. It’s outreach that’s important,” Laurence tuts. “We have a very diverse community in Westminster and we try to serve all of them,” Hai Yan adds.
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16:01min Having won the job, Flynn is warned to be punctual by his scary new boss. “There’s the stereotype of the big librarian at the counter telling you to ssh!” Stuart admits. “It’s not that strict anymore,” Laila assures us.
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18:52min Flynn is led to a secret library which holds the Ark of the Covenant, Pandora’s Box and numerous priceless tomes. “They’re just trying to protect their stock. We try to get as many people as possible to read our books,” Laurence notes. “The more dog-eared the better,” Mary smiles.
27:29min The librarian is sent to recover the Spear of Destiny from the dastardly Serpent Brotherhood. “This is his first day?” Mary splutters. “Does he get travel expenses?” Stuart wonders.
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31:16min Our hero proves to be something of a klutz, hitting his head on a ledge and struggling to climb a tree. “It’s an unfair stereotype,” Stuart insists. “One of my colleagues goes skydiving and base jumping.”
61:07min But his knowledge has no bounds, encompassing Amazonian dialects, advanced navigation and Mayan history. “He knows everything, but that’s not what librarians are supposed to be about,” Mary insists. “We’re supposed to know how to find everything.”
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86:15min Flynn returns triumphant. “I hope you saved your receipts!” his boss warns.A smile from Stuart.
VERDICT Although they despaired at its nerdish stereotypes, our panel hoped the film might attract more people into libraries, as Anthony Head’s character in Buffy the Vampire Slayer did. Mary braces herself for requests from borrowers for a spear of destiny.
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The Librarian: The Quest for the Spear is out to buy on DVD on Aug 28. Interview by Ed Potton. With thanks to Westminster City libraries (www.westminster.gov.uk/libraries)