I am pale. So pale, in fact, that Pete Doherty once informed me that I was the most wan person he had ever met. Let’s put that into context: the nation’s most famous drug addict deemed me unhealthy-looking. Fifteen years on, it’s pasty payback time. I may not have much else going for me, but I am routinely mistaken for being 10, 15, even 20 years younger than my 44 years (the latter in darkened cabs, tip yet to be ascertained).
Thrice I have been mistaken for my younger sister’s daughter. Naturally, this did nothing for sororal solidarity, but who needs sisters when there are compliments to be gained? Women still stare in horror at my milk-bottle legs. However, this will typically be followed by an inquiry as to the nature of my “secret”. Hmmmn, I don’t know. Maybe not scorching myself into leathered decrepitude?
Stress, smoking and sugar all age us, but sun is the killer; 80 per cent of skin ravaging is attributable to sun exposure. Even as I sit typing at my desk, I am sporting La Roche-Posay Anthelios XL 50+ Comfort Cream (£14.50; laroche-posay.com). Not only does it shield, it makes pale skin gleam. Indeed, so luminous a lustre does it impart that I frequently apply it at night, a high-SPF-for-youthful-bloom technique that make-up guru Lisa Eldridge tells me is deployed on film sets.
For all that guff about looking better with a tan, there are legions of products to make blanched skin appear four million times better than that which is charred or Tangoed. Every pale girl should possess a primer to lend her complexion polish. My all-time favourite is Becca Shimmering Skin Perfector in Pearl SPF20 (£33; uk.spacenk.com). I also like Hourglass Veil Mineral Primer SPF15 (from £20; uk.spacenk.com), Tom Ford Illuminating Primer (£54; selfridges.com) and Bobbi Brown’s sublimely glimmering CC Cream SPF35 (£29; bobbibrown.co.uk).
Foundations have become so ingeniously invisible you would be a fool not to wear one. Dior’s and Bobbi Brown’s are unparalleled, while I have a real penchant for Eve Lom Radiance Perfected Tinted Moisturiser SPF15 (£48) on top of her pearly Flawless Radiance Primer SPF30 (£40; evelom.com). Think fresh-faced, girlish insouciance.
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Rather than contouring, I suggest you get strobing. It’s basically highlighting – sculpting with light rather than shade – for radiance purposes. First, I brush on a large 3 shape, starting from the forehead, sweeping down to the cheekbones, then round to the jaw, using an Hourglass Ambient Lighting Palette (£56). I knock up a second, backwards 3, connecting the two on chin and forehead. I then wield some sort of highlighter, plus a Clinique Sculpting Highlight Chubby Stick (£19; clinique.co.uk) around a spot of rosy blush. I warn you: it’s addictive. On dark days, I have been known to deploy six shimmers in search of Ultimate Luminosity.
Lesley Thomas is away