As it happened: Saturday’s Premier League action

FULL-TIME: Sunderland 1 Swansea 1 (Defoe 62; Gomis 45)
4.54pm: It’s all over at the Stadium of Light, and the home fans will be pleased with their side’s response to a shocking start to the season. It’s a fair result as a much-improved Sunderland managed to tame an in-form Swansea side.

FULL-TIME: Leicester 1 Tottenham 1 (Mahrez 82, Alli 81)
4.53pm: Honours even at The King Power. Leicester still unbeaten, Spurs still winless.

Leicester 1 Tottenham 1 (Mahrez 82, Alli 81)
4.52pm: A couple of late half-chances for Spurs as Dele Alli and Toby Alderweireld have efforts from successive corners blocked.

FULL-TIME: Norwich 1 Stoke 1 (Martin 28; Diouf 11)
4.52pm: All over at Carrow Road. Great game, a point apiece is probably fair, although Jack Butland deserves a medal.

GOAL! Crystal Palace 2 Aston Villa 1 (Dann 71, Sako 87; Souare o.g 77)
4.50pm: Bakary Sako scores on his debut to put Palace back in front with three minutes left, the former Wolves man with a neat left-footed finish from just inside the area.

4.50pm: We’re into added time in the Premier League matches.

ALEX BROADWAY

GOAL! West Ham 3 Bournemouth 4 (Noble pen 48, Kouyaté 53, Maiga 82; Wilson 11, 28, 79 pen, Pugh 66)
4.45pm: All happening at Upton Park, as Callum Wilson scores a penalty to complete his hat-trick, with Carl Jenkinson sent off for giving the spot kick away, before Modibo Maïga pulls one back almost immediately.

Norwich 1 Stoke 1 (Martin 28; Diouf 11)
4.44pm: The Premier League is a right royal ruckus at the moment, and Jack Butland is performing out of his socks to keep Stoke level. He’s made at least four top class saves in this match, including two in a minute just now. He denies Dorrans one-handed ot his left before blocking Jerome’s effort from the corner.

GOALS! Leicester 1 Tottenham 1 (Mahrez 82, Alli 81)
4.41pm: Two in as many minutes at The King Power! Dele Alli, with his first Spurs goal, put the visiting side ahead, converting a Chadli cross, before Mahrez instantly replied for Leicester, with his sixth Premier League goal in as many games.

GOAL! Crystal Palace 1 Aston Villa 1 (Dann 71, Souare o.g 77)
4.40pm: Villa level at Selhurst Park, as Pape Souare turns the ball into his own net after a great run and cross from Traore.

Sunderland 1 Swansea 1 (Defoe 62; Gomis 45)
4.33pm: The hosts go close again as Lens drifts in from the left touchline. He opens up his body and curls an effort just too high of the top corner. If Sunderland manage to go in front, the Stadium of Light is going to explode.

GOAL! Crystal Palace 1 Aston Villa (Dann 71)
4.30pm: This time Palace are in front, courtesy of a fine header from Scott Dann, who met Jason Puncheon’s outswinging corner to find the net from 12 yards out. Teams hate conceding from set plays, but it is difficult to see what Villa could have done about that. The timing of the leap and execution of the header were perfect.

Sunderland 1 Swansea 1 (Defoe 62; Gomis 45)
4.29pm: Ruckus in the Swansea box, and suddenly it’s them who look as if they’re in trouble. Sunderland are pounding at the door but, after a spate of pinball, it’s hacked clear as Defoe lurks.

GOAL! West Ham 2 Bournemouth 3 (Noble pen 48, Kouyaté 53; Wilson 11, 28, Pugh 66)
4.26pm: Brilliant from Marc Pugh, who has put Bournemouth back in front at Upton Park. A counter-attack from the visitors ended with the ball being spread out to the left, and Pugh, the substitute, cut inside, left a defender on his backside, and curled the ball into the bottom corner. A quality finish.

Crystal Palace 0 Aston Villa 0
4.25pm: GOAL! Nope, no goal. Palace thought they were in front, when James McArthur deflected Dwight Gayle’s goalbound shot past Guzan – and the referee initially gave the goal – but he changed his mind after a chat with the assistant referee. It took a while but, looking at the replay, the right decision was made, as the goalscorer was just offside. Palace were convinced they’d scored – so much so that the Selhurst Park goal music (yuck) started to play. But we’re still goalless in south London.

GOAL! Sunderland 1 Swansea 1 (Defoe 62; Gomis 45)
4.20pm: If there was a roof, it would have been blown off the Stadium of Light as the hosts level it up. Lens, from the right of centre, slides in Defoe just outside the box, who pulls his shot towards the far corner, beyond Fabianski, and into the back of the net. Classic Defoe.

CHARLIE CROWHURST

Crystal Palace 0 Aston Villa 0
4.18pm: Alan Pardew made a double change at the interval, with Glenn Murray and Wilfried Zaha hauled off for Jordon Mutch and Dwight Gayle, who has been linked with a move away from Selhurst Park. An early chance for Bakary Sako was denied by Brad Guzan, while Cabaye has been booked for a late, very late, challenge on Grealish.

GOAL! West Ham 2 Bournemouth 2 (Noble pen 48, Kouyaté 53; Wilson 11, 28)
4.14pm: West Ham are level. Sakho had an initial shot saved by Boruc and Kouyaté was on hand to snap up the rebound. Two in five minutes for the home side who, after a dreadful first half, have come out with purpose in the second. a welcome to the harsh realities of the Premier League for Bournemouth

Leicester 0 Tottenham 0
4.13pm: Tottenham aren’t exactly looking like Champions League contenders here but they have had marginally the better of a mediocre game so far. Nacer Chadli has just had probably their best chance so far, but he blazed over from a tight-ish angle.

Sunderland 0 Swansea 1 (Gomis 45)
4.11pm: Sunderland have the ball in the back of the net, but it’s quickly chalked off for offside. Lens rounded Fabianski before poking the ball into the back of the net, an age after the whistle had gone. Regardless, the home fans celebrate.

GOAL! West Ham 1 Bournemouth 2 (Noble pen 48; Wilson 11, 28)
4.08pm: The home side have the early goal they needed, thanks to Mark Noble who first of all won the penalty, when he went down under a dopey challenge from Josh King, and then sent Artur Boric the wrong way from the spot.

Norwich 1 Stoke 1 (Martin 28; Diouf 11)
4.07pm: Massive chance for Norwich to go in front, as Jerome latches on to a wonderful pass through the heart of the Stoke defence. Howson plays the pass, but Jerome prods the finish beyond Butland but wide of the far post. Seconds later, Brady flings in the cross to an unmarked Hoolahan at the back stick, but he nods it wide. Two huge chances for Norwich in a matter of moments.

KICK OFF: We’re back underway in the English top flight. THE BEST LEAGUE IN THE WORLD.

HALF-TIME: Crystal Palace 0 Aston Villa 0
3.54pm: Villa have been the better team, but not by much. Not too much in the way of chances here.

BEN STANSALL

HALF-TIME: West Ham 0 Bournemouth 2 (Wilson 11, 28)
3.52pm: West Ham have been brought down to earth since that shocking win at Arsenal. Leicester beat them at Upton Park last week, and they’re getting tanked by the newly-promoted Bournemouth at the moment, who have been due some luck. They deserve their lead. West Ham, being booed by their fans, need something drastic to happen.

HALF-TIME: Leicester 0 Tottenham 0
3.51pm: Nothing to see here, move along.

HALF-TIME: Sunderland 0 Swansea 1 (Gomis 45)
3.50pm: They huffed and puffed, but finally the Sunderland house was blown down, so to speak. Sunderland’s hectic tempo look as if it may have caught up with them, as Swansea moved into superiority before marking that control with a late goal. Sunderland need to curb some of their enthusiasm and focus on structuring a meaninful attack.

HALF-TIME: Norwich 1 Stoke 1 (Martin 28; Diouf 11)
3.49pm: An entertaining half at Carrow Road, with both sides looking a threat in the final third. You get the feeling that there’s more goals to come here.

GOAL! Sunderland 0 Swansea 1 (Gomis 45)
3.47pm: He just cannot stop scoring. Bafetimbi Gomis has broken Sunderland’s resistance, sweeping in a low finish into the far corner following a run and pass to the right of centre by Naughton.

Sunderland 0 Swansea 0
3.44pm: The away side are starting to take over now, and getting a bit more time on the ball to work their magic. Montero has been the dangerman again down the left for Swansea, firing into the side-netting in what was one of the visitors’ best chances.

Leicester 0 Tottenham 0
3.40pm: Nothing to see here. No really, there is nothing to see here. Tottenham have had more than 70 per cent of the possession but have done the square root of nothing with it. The home side have threatened spasmodically on the break, but it’s hard to recall an effort on goal from either team in the opening 40 minutes.

West Ham 0 Bournemouth 2 (Wilson 11, 28)
3.39pm: Being substituted when, at least apparently, not injured is the ultimate indignity for a footballer, so pity poor Angelo Ogbonna, who has been given the hook by Slaven Bilic, with James Tomkins on in his place. Bournemouth are comfortable and look like they could add to their lead before half-time.

Norwich 1 Stoke 1 (Martin 28; Diouf 11)
3.34pm: Let off for Norwich as Diouf has the ball in the back of the net following Afellay’s pass. However, the flag was up quickly for offside.

Norwich fought back after Stoke took the lead

STEPHEN POND

Sunderland 0 Swansea 0
3.33pm: The crowd are cheering everything that Sunderland do. Every tackle, every foul, and just everything that shows that Sunderland are putting in energy. It’s humid everywhere, so you wonder just how long they’ll be able to keep this up for.

GOAL! West Ham 0 Bournemouth 2 (Wilson 11, 28)
3.32pm: Two for Bournemouth, and two for Callum Wilson! A bit of pinball in the West Ham defence and the ball fell to Wilson in the box, who coolly finished past Darren Randolph, who has now conceded 14 in three games against Bournemouth. If West Ham keep defending like that, the tally will doubtless increase before the afternoon is out.

Crystal Palace 0 Aston Villa 0
3.30pm: Drinks break in SE25 too, just after Wilfried Zaha missed a great chance for the home side, denied by the scrambling Villa defence

GOAL! Norwich 1 Stoke 1 (Martin 28; Diouf 11)
3.29pm: Game on at Carrow Road as Norwich draw level, and it’s two in two for Russell Martin, the centre back. Norwich pepper the Stoke box with crosses, before Redmond flicks the ball back into the area where Martin hammers a low finish through the legs of Butland, who had made a great save in the build-up.

3.28pm: Water breaks all over the shop. We’re not in the desert.

West Ham 0 Bournemouth 1 (Wilson 11)
3.27pm: No, it’s not The Oval but, across London at Upton Park, the players have just stopped for a mid-half drinks break. It is pretty hot but I can’t recall that happening before in a domestic game (someone please correct me if I’m wrong). Before that interlude, Max Gradel squandered a great two v two counter-attack for Bournemouth, by losing the ball rather than playing in Wilson.

Sunderland 0 Swansea 0
3.24pm: Lee Cattermole is doing exactly what Lee Cattermole does best at the Stadium of Light. Andre Ayew has the ball, and Cattermole comes flying through the back of him, and walks away clapping. He’s been booked, and rightly so. The crowd are well up for this one.

Crystal Palace 0 Aston Villa 0
3.20pm: Villa, playing in a kit befitting of the August sunshine, have started marginally the better at Selhurst Park, with Alex McCarthy denying Gabriel Agbonlahor early on. No real efforts on goal yet for Palace.

Leicester 0 Tottenham 0
3.17pm: Pretty uneventful fare in the East Midlands so far. Clinton N’Jie,. Spurs new signing from Lyons, isn’t even on the bench today which is something of a surprise, bearing in mind the paucity of attacking options in the Tottenham ranks. Most of this match so far being played in the middle third of the pitch.

Sunderland made a positive start against Swansea

ALEX LIVESEY

Sunderland 0 Swansea 0
3.13pm: It’s very clear that Sunderland’s tactic is to ‘get into ‘em’. The hosts are pressing Swansea like men possessed, with Gomis requiring treatment a few minutes ago after Rodwell raked down the back of his calf.

GOAL! West Ham 0 Bournemouth 1 (Wilson 11)
11 min: Bournemouth have broken their Premier League duck, thanks to a superb finish from Callum Wilson, their top scorer in the Championship last season, who slid to volley in a right-wing cross from Simon Francis. The away fans go bananas behind the goal – and why not. A couple of minutes earlier West Ham thought they had the lead, but Winston Reid’s header was ruled out for a push on Tommy Elphick, the defender.

GOAL! Norwich 0 Stoke 1 (Diouf 11)
11 min: That’s how you make an impact. Stoke have a free kick out on the right, and Shaqiri, on his debut, whips in a superb cross with his left foot to the far post. Diouf is lurking and on hand to convert a diving header.

Norwich 0 Stoke 0
3.05pm: Good tempo to start the match from the home, who are looking to make it back-to-back wins in the Premier League and upset Stoke’s Hollywood cast of footballers.

Sunderland 0 Swansea 0
3.03pm: It’s been a bright start from Sunderland, who were humiliated by Norwich here a week ago. They’re at least showing some energy and fight for now.

KICK OFF: We’re underway across the country in all the 3pm matches. Time for some magic.

TEAM NEWS: Sunderland v Swansea City

There have been enough jokes this week about Dick Advocaat’s decision to ignore the advice of his wife, so I won’t add to them. But, after two defeats – and pretty abject defeats at that – he may wish he’d gone on a cruise or taken up fishing over the summer. Anything other than stepping into the most poisoned of footballing chalices.

Veteran John O’Shea returns to the Sunderland defence, with Younes Kaboul dropping out. Danny Graham and Jack Rodwell also come into the starting XI. Swansea, who have four points from six so far, are unchanged, with the twinkle-toes of Jefferson Montero, arguably the player of the (very early) season so far, again featuring on the wing.

Sunderland: Pantilimon; Jones; Coates, O’Shea, van Aanholt; Rodwell, Cattermole, M’Vila; Lens, Graham, Defoe
Subs: Mannone, Brown, Larsson, Matthews, Giaccherini, Fletcher, Watmore

Swansea: Fabianski; Naughton, Fernandez, Williams, Taylor; Cork, Shelvey, Sigurdsson, Monetero; Ayew, Gomis
Subs: Britton, Dyer, Nordfeldt, Routledge, Éder, Rangel, Bartley

Shaqiri makes his Stoke debut against Norwich

STEPHEN POND

TEAM NEWS: Norwich City v Stoke City

There haven’t been many more eye-catching signings than Xherdan Shaqiri and he makes his Stoke City debut today at Carrow Road. Interestingly Jon Walters, linked with a move away from Stoke this week, isn’t in the matchday squad. Norwich, unsurprisingly after an impressive win last time out at Sunderland, are unchanged.

Norwich: Ruddy; Whittaker, Martin, Bassong, Brady; Redmond, Tettey, Dorrans, Howson; Hoolahan; Jerome
Subs: Rudd, Wisdom, Johnson, Grabban, Hooper, R Bennett, O’Neil

Stoke: Butland; Johnson, Cameron, Muniesa, Pieters; Whelan, v.Ginkel; Shaqiri, Afellay, Arnautovic; Diouf
Subs: Given; Ireland, Joselu, Wilson, Adam, Crouch, Wollscheid

TEAM NEWS: West Ham v Bournemouth

A weird start for West Ham who, in between being poor against Leicester and worse in the Europa League pre-season, somehow managed to beat Arsenal. Bournemouth have looked neat and tidy but, from two games, have no goals and no points.

The visitors keep faith with the side that lost 1-0 at Anfield on Monday night, while West Ham are forced into a change in goal, where Darren Randolph comes in for Adrián, who is suspended after his spot of kung-fu against Leicester. Randolph conceded 12 goals in two games for Birmingham against Bournemouth last season.

West Ham: Randolph; Jenkinson, Reid, Ogbonna, Cresswell; Obiang, Noble, Kouyate, Nolan, Payet; Sakho
Subs: Spiegel, Tomkins, Jarvis, Collins, Maiga, Lanzini, Cullen

Bournemouth: Boruc; Francis, Elphick, Cook, Daniels; Ritchie, O’Kane, Surman, Gradel; King, Wilson
Subs: Federici, Smith, Distin, Mings, Gosling, Pugh, Kermorgant

TEAM NEWS: Crystal Palace v Aston Villa

A win and a defeat apiece for the two sides meeting at Selhurst Park. Crystal Palace are without Yannick Bolasie, who has flown home to DR Congo because of a family bereavement. Bakary Sako, signed from Wolves, makes his first Palace start, while Glenn Murray replaces Connor Wickham in attack.

Aston Villa go from three Jordans to one, as messrs Ayew and Veretout drop to the bench. Rudy Gestede and Jack Grealish start for the visiting team.

Crystal Palace: McCarthy; Ward, Delaney, Dann, Souare; McArthur, Cabaye; Zaha, Puncheon, Sako; Murray
Subs: Hennessey, Bamford, Lee, Jedinak, Gayle, Mutch, Kelly

Aston Villa: Guzan; Bacuna, Richards, Clark, Amavi; Sánchez, Westwood, Gueye, Grealish; Gestede, Agbonlahor
Subs: Bunn, Baker, Sinclair, Veretout, J Ayew, Traoré, Hutton

TEAM NEWS: Leicester v Tottenham

Two games, two wins for the home side, who will fancy their chances of making it three from three in the Gary Lineker derby. Tottenham, much like every other season since 1961, are already delivering in their specialist subject – flattering to deceive

The Tinkerman is spectacularly failing to live up to his billing, by naming an unchanged starting XI for the third successive game, which means Gökhan Inler, the new signing from Napoli, is on the bench. Tottenham have Harry Kane, a former Leicester loanee, leading the attack, but Christian Eriksen is injured, so Erik Lamela starts his first match of the season.

Leicester: Schmeichel; De Laet, Huth, Morgan, Schlupp; Albrighton, Drinkwater, King, Mahrez; Okazaki, Vardy
Subs: Schwarzer, Kanté, Kramarić, Ulloa, Fuchs, Benalouane, Inler

Tottenham: Lloris; Walker, Alderweireld, Vertonghen, Davies; Dier, Mason; Chadli, Dembele, Lamela; Kane
Subs: Vorm, Rose, Trippier, Alli, Bentaleb, Carroll, Onomah

2.38pm: Well, now that that’s out the way, let’s get to our previews for the 3pm matches.

2.37pm: Well that added time was far more exciting than the whole of normal time. United will be wondering how on earth they didn’t win that, and looked a bit limp in attack, but Newcastle’s defending was top class and got better as the game went on. This is the visitors’ first away point since February and will feel like a win. Manchester United still unbeaten, but not happy.

FULL TIME: Manchester United 0 Newcastle 0

90+3 min: CHANCE! Half the stadium thought this was in, as Michael Carrick winds up 30 yards from goal. He shot takes a deflection and falls just wide of the post. Newcastle clear the corner, but not too far.

90+1 min: OFF THE POST! We have four minutes of added time as the corner is swung in by Depay, and Smalling’s header comes back off the post. Newcastle then break, and have a 3 v 2 situation in their favour. Cisse takes an age of on the ball, is forced away from goal but swings a low shot across the face of goal. It’s just out of reach of Thauvin, and just wide of the far post. The most exciting spell of football in this match so far.

88 min: NEWCASTLE CHANGE Papiss Cisse is coming on, and Jonny Evans gets his flem ready. Meanwhile, Mitrovic jogs off, having successfully managed to avoid a booking. Well done to him.

85 min: CHANCE! Coloccini has been everywhere today, and Newcastle have made close to a million blocks in this match. The ball bounces into space at the far post as Valencia races onto the loose ball, but his shot from an acute angle deflects off Coloccini’s face and goes behind.

83 min: CHANCE! Maybe one pass too many for United as they thread together their latest attack from the right into the area, but two or three Newcastle defenders lunge at the ball to scramble it away.

80 min: SAVE! What a vital stop that could be from Krul, and a crucial moment in this match. Mata’s pass takes a few deflections inside the box, and suddenly Hernandez is one on one with the goalkeeper inside the six-yard box. The ‘Little Pea’ (shudders) is forced to go on his left foot, but is shot is saved by the flailing leg of Krul.

JULIAN FINNEY

77 min: CHANGES Darmian makes way for Antonio Valencia, who is likely to add more of an attacking threat for the home team. Newcastle send on Cheick Tiote, as Ayoze Perez comes off. Defensive.

75 min: A bit of pinball in the Newcastle box but they survive once more. Mata’s shot ends up hitting the back of Depay, and swirling into the arms of Krul.

73 min: CHANCE! United break, and Rooney has it down the left. He curls a heavy cross to the far post, where Mata arrives late, unmarked, but batters his shot way over the bar.

72 min: Oooo, Taylor has thwarted a potential screamer, as Mata’s lofted pass is brought down fantastically by Rooney, whose volley comes back off the chest of Taylor.

70 min: YELLOW CARD! Shaw is booked for bringing down Thauvin, who got in behind the left back just over the halfway line.

69 min: NEWCASTLE CHANGE Here comes Florian Thauvin for his debut. He takes the place of Gabriel Obertan.

67 min: MAN UNITED CHANGE On comes Javier Hernandez for the hosts, replacing Adnan Januzaj.

64 min: CHANCE! The corner is whipped in from Mata, and it’s a beauty, picking out a rampaging Smalling at the back stick. He gets away from his marker and meets the ball with a side-foot volley, but he gets no power on it, and stabs it into the ground for the away side to clear.

David de Gea was again left to watch from the stands

JASON CAIRNDUFF

63 min: Depay gets the ball to the left of centre, turns, and drives towards the edge of the box. He tries to shoot, but it’s deflected over for a corner.

59 min: MAN UNITED CHANGE On comes Michael Carrick, replacing Schweinsteiger.

58 min: The build-up takes forever, but finally, Memphis Depay, to the right of centre from 22 yards, curls a tame effort into the wall. Rubbish.

57 min: YELLOW CARD! The biggest cheer of the day goes to Gabriel Obertan, the former Manchester United man, who trips Depay from behind. Free kick in a dangerous position for Manchester United.

53 min: We’re at walking pace. That tells you everything.

50 min: Darmian gets down the flank and runs down the byline towards goal, but Perez is there to make a great sliding challenge. Yes, I have that in the right order.

48 min: A quiet start to the second half - so quiet that Steve McClaren has only just reappeared from the tunnel. You’ve missed nowt Steve.

GOALS! GOALS! GOALS! Watch highlights of that first half by heading to the Goals tab on your smartphone app.

1.33pm: This must feel like a bit of a moral victory for Newcastle, because I’m not quite sure how the hosts aren’t ahead. Manchester United started with a rocket of their backsides, and had plenty of chances to take the lead, as Newcastle couldn’t claw their way out of their own half. But, since the 25-minute mark, the away team have responded, dug their heels in, and had a bit of a go of it. Even at the break.

Arindam Rej (@ARejSport): Man United started so fluently but they lost their spark at the end of the first half. Newcastle grew in confidence. #mufc #nufc

HALF-TIME: Manchester United 0 Newcastle 0

45 min: United have a 3 v 3, which soon becomes a 4 v 4 as Depay is tackled to perfection by Coloccini on the edge of the box. One added minute.

Smalling, who has started the season well, challenges for the ball in the air

JASON CAIRNDUFF

42 min: CHANCE! Newcastle work the ball from the right inside to Perez, whose shot curls away from Romero and the far post. However, Newcastle are somehow awarded a corner, despite it not touching a soul. Newcastle can’t score from the corner though, so the home fans aren’t kicking off for long.

38 min: And they listened to my advice. Darmian curls a fierce cross towards the back post, which skims off Rooney’s beautiful locks before the visitors clear.

37 min: More of the same, as the hosts camp outside the Newcastle box. They should think about going in.

34 min: Patience, Manchester United, patience. It’s a bit static.

29 min: It’s gone a bit quiet over the past few minutes, with Manchester United, as you would expect, controlling the tempo.

25 min: Now the hosts come flying forward as they leave the Newcastle midfield for dead. There’s plenty of space for Depay, who is played in to the left of the box. He takes an age, dancing round Krul, before trying to cut the ball back for Januzaj, but Colback incepts and clears.

23 min: OFF THE BAR! And out of nowhere, Newcastle nearly take the lead. Mitrovic has been smashing everything in his sight since arriving England, and he cannons a header off the crossbar from just inside the box following a fantastic leap to meet Mbemba’s floating cross.

20 min: YELLOW CARD! Now Haidara goes into the book for leaving Blind in a heap on the edge of the Manchester United box.

OLI SCARFF

19 min: YELLOW CARD! The first booking of the day goes to Darmian, who’s late on Haidara. Who’d have thought that it would be a Manchester United defender to pick up the first caution, given all the drastic defending that the away side are having to do.

16 min: Newcastle have entered the Manchester United half! My lord, this is incredible. Steve McClaren has even come down from his seat in the stands to be on the touchline. They need to do something...

15 min: SAVE! Tim Krul gestures to his team-mates to be a bit more urgent, because the hosts are carving through them time after time. The ball drops to Mata on the right of the box, and he chests onto his left foot before unleashing a low drive towards the corner. Krul gets down very well at the near post to stick a paw at it. It’s surely only a matter of time.

13 min: Newcastle are really clinging on at moment. Mata and Depay work the ball short from a corner on the right, before Haidara flies in to kung fu kick the ball behind for another corner.

Squawka Football (@Squawka): Man United have had as many shots on target (3) in the opening 12 minutes vs. Newcastle as in the two previous league games combined. #MUFC

12 min: Depay and Mata are over it, but it’s the latter who strikes it, curling it over the wall but calmly into Krul’s arms.

11 min: Darmian cuts inside from the right and is brought down by Perez, 25 yards from goal and central. United have had 69 per cent possession so far.

7 min: It’s been all Manchester United so far, with Rooney looking very lively. He and Juan Mata exchange a catalogue of passes before he tries to find the Spaniard inside the box, but Coloccini slides in brilliantly to intercept.

Rooney had a goal disallowed for offside as the hosts dominated

CLIVE BRUNSKILL

6 min: United slowly build from the halfway line, with Rooney playing a one-two with Januzaj. The captain has another go, this time from miles out and, while it’s on target, crawls into the welcoming arms of Tim Krul, the Newcastle goalkeeper.

4 min: GOAL! DISALLOWED! Rooney is slipped and looks as if he’s continued his terrific record against Newcastle by latching onto the pass in between the centre backs and slotting beyond Krul. The flag was quickly up though, but it was mighty close.

3 min: United have had a good start in terms of possession, but have knocked just the one ball into the box so far, with Luke Shaw’s cross from the left being cut out by Steven Taylor in the centre. Memphis Depay, who is now one of the best players in the world after scoring twice against Brugge, drags a shot along the floor and straight to Krul.

KICK OFF: Newcastle, playing from right to left, get us underway.

12.43pm: So it’s the Dutchman versus the wannabe Dutchman. It’s Louis van Gaal versus Schteeeeeve McClaren. It’s Manchester United versus Newcastle United, and it’s LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!

12.41pm: The teams are in the tunnel, and Old Trafford will be happy to have some actual football to focus on rather than the transfer nonsense. United are wearing their home strip; red shirts, white shorts and black socks. Newcastle are sporting black tracksuit tops over their away kit of white shirts and socks with aqua blue shorts. Out they come.

Squawka Football (@Squawka): Most Premier League interceptions in the opposition half during 2015: D. Blind (24) F. Coquelin (22) N. Monreal (12) P. Zabaleta (11)

12.40pm: As for Newcastle, they’re still looking for their first win of the season. Drawing 2-2 with Southampton in their first game was respectable as well as disappointing, but they were brushed aside by a game Swansea City last weekend in Wales. One of the tasks at hand for Steve McClaren is to improve his side’s disastrous away record, with Newcastle having lost seven consecutive Premier League away games. They haven’t lost eight league fixtures in a row since a run of nine defeats in October 1977.

12.37pm: Van Gaal has been weighing in on Bastian Schweinsteiger.

“I had to build him up and when you want to play him more than 45 minutes you have to start him. He has to prove it. Everyone is saying he is a world champion, but every player has to prove it and in Manchester it is not so easy to prove it. I have great confidence in him. He is a coaching player and that is important. We have more midfielders who can coach. I want to spare Michael Carrick for other matches.”

12.33pm: However, albeit against Belgium’s second best team from last season, United resembled a more stylish outfit in midweek when Memphis Depay’s stunning double helped them come from behind to beat Club Brugge 3-1 in the first leg of their Champions League qualifier. It wasn’t a performance that was out of this world, but it’s a start.

Squawka Football (@Squawka): Wayne Rooney has scored just four goals in his last 20 Premier League games.

12.29pm: This season has been so far so good for Van Gaal. His side are level on points with Manchester City, Leicester and Liverpool after two games with a 100 per cent still intact, but the Dutchman knows that there is a lot for his team to improve on. United followed up a narrow 1-0 win over Tottenham here on the opening day by slithering past Aston Villa by the same scoreline last Friday night, which has not gone unnoticed by fans and pundits alike.

Arindam Rej (@ARejSport): How long will Schweinsteiger last on his first start here? He’s looked sharp on his appearances off the bench but it’s time for more. #mufc

12.25pm: Steve McClaren signed Florian Thauvin, the exciting young French winger, from Marseille during the week, and he takes a spot on the bench. There is no Daryl Janmaat, who was torn to pieces by Jefferson Montero at Swansea last week and ended up getting himself sent off. Moussa Sissoko was taken off last weekend due to a groin injury, and he misses out completely today, while Papiss Cisse drops to the substitutes bench.

Steven Taylor, Ayoze Perez and Aleksandar Mitrovic all start. Wonder how long Mitrovic will last before he gets booked. Three in three? You’d be brave to bet against it.

MICHAEL REGAN

12.21pm: Louis van Gaal remains without Phil Jones, who is suffering from thrombosis, while Marouane Fellaini, who scored against Club Brugge in midweek, completes his league suspension, and Marcos Rojo is still not match fit.

However, Bastian Schweinsteiger makes his first United start since joining from Bayern Munich in the summer, as he replaces Michael Carrick in what is the only change from the win over Aston Villa.

12.19pm: Before we delve into something that resembles a preview, let’s take a look at the two squads.

Man Utd XI: Romero; Darmian, Smalling, Blind, Shaw; Schneiderlin, Schweinsteiger; Mata, Januzaj, Memphis; Rooney.
Subs: Johnstone, McNair, Valencia, Carrick, Herrera, Young, Hernandez.

Newcastle XI: Krul; Mbemba, Taylor, Coloccini, Haidara; Anita, Colback; Perez, Wijnaldum, Obertan; Mitrovic.
Subs: Darlow, Williamson, Tiote, De Jong, Aarons, Thauvin, Cisse.

12.15pm: Stand up, if you’re the best league in the world, stand up, if you’re the best league in the world. Well, excuse me but I’m going to sit down, because it’s a lot easier to type about the Barclays Premier League from my comfy* office chair than it is to stretch down to my keyboard. But, more importantly, football is back again! Three weeks in a row this has happened now in the English top flight, so I guess we better get used to it. After the absolute ruckus of last weekend – which saw games from Friday to Monday – we have six matches today, starting with the early kick off at Old Trafford. So let’s head to Manchester for the United derby – Manchester United v Newcastle United.

*Minor sarcasm