Modern family life is creating a generation of “hermit teenagers”, isolated and troubled in their bedrooms, according to the former head master of one of Britain’s most famous public schools.
Tony Little, former head of Eton College, who is writing a book about parenting, said the loneliness of teenagers with two parents focused on their careers was one of the most worrying problems of 21st-century life.
“We read so much today about the private, often troubled, world of teenagers. Hermit teenagers in their bedrooms, sometimes silent and removed from their family members,” Little will tell the conference of the Boarding Schools’ Association this week.
“Smartphone teenagers often welded to screens sharing risqué pictures to win friends or awaiting the next troll abuse. Xbox teenagers overly fixated on computer-game battles. This [is] the so-called ideal world of modern family life.
“Family life is lonely for teenagers today . . . mums and dads both having careers, both working full time, juggling everything . . . if I had to draw up a list of the top 20 questions that worry parents, that is near the top of the list, along with worries about whether their child will get a good job.
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“Parents have said things to me like, ‘My 15-year-old boy is on his own in the house, he spends all his time on the computer. I don’t have a clue what he is doing even when I am in the house and it is worrying me’,” Little said.
Mental health problems such as depression and anxiety are on the rise among teenagers . Little said the solution was to try to engage youngsters in activities that required them to spend time with other people.
Parents could encourage Saturday jobs, sports, after-school clubs or just inviting friends home, he said. Keeping channels of communication open was crucial.
He advised talking to teenagers while driving with them in the car — “they can’t escape, but also don’t have to make eye contact” — and not being inquisitorial.