That Glenn McGrath should have been the one inflicting so much pain on them in the first Test match was among the worst scenarios for England. They knew Shane Warne, who was expected to play a leading role in this opening contest, would cause them problems during the series but they held genuine hopes that McGrath’s lack of fitness and pace might be used as levers to jemmy him out of the series if they got off to a good start against him. Fat chance.
The problem with bowlers like McGrath who operate at no more than fast-medium pace, is that the job takes so little out of them. He can bowl long spells without showing fatigue and his body has endured through more than ten years of pounding over the turf in Australia’s cause. Scans of McGrath’s back have revealed almost no signs of wear and tear. This would not be the case with genuine out-and-out quicks.
McGrath is only 36. Sir Richard Hadlee, who bowled in very similar style for New Zealand, was 40 when he finally hung up his boots. Depending on how things go, McGrath may retire at the end of this series, but he could probably go on for a couple more years if he wanted to.
McGrath knew that there had been plenty of talk about whether he could still cut it at the top level. This was his first Test since January and it was natural that questions would be asked. But by taking six for 50 from 23.1 overs, and sitting out only seven overs from the Vulture Street end of the ground, he provided the perfect rejoinder. Only Ian Bell, with a crafted fifty, held him at bay.
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He could not resist taking the rise out of his detractors, though, by clutching his back in mock pain as he led his team off the field on Saturday after England had been skittled for 157 to concede a massive first-innings deficit of 445.
McGrath’s figures today were awesome: 17.1 overs, eight maidens, 25 runs, four wickets. His overall return was his best for two years, since a career-best haul of eight for 24 against Pakistan in Perth, where Australia also opted not to enforce the follow on and eventually set their opponents the small matter of 564 to win.
He was assisted by the pitch here, which was breaking up and showing signs of uneven bounce too early in the game for most people’s tastes, but his accuracy put England’s ill-disciplined efforts to shame. His first wicket of the day, the crucial one of Kevin Pietersen, came from a ball that kept a bit low and replays suggest it would have missed off stump but there was no doubt about his remaining three scalps.
Ricky Ponting’s decision not to bowl again will be questioned by many - and the crowd voted with their feet by refusing to watch Ponting and Justin Langer take perfunctory batting practice in the final session - but his thoughts were focused on not overworking his strike bowler.
That such an eagerly awaited Test match should have been turned into a glorified net session was a great shame, but Ponting was also intent on making sure that as much English blood is spilt in this slaughter as possible, to weaken them for the battles ahead. McGrath has always been a willing accomplice in that kind of process.
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One banner draped over the stands at the Gabba, written in response to the jibes about Australia’s ageing side, read: “Our Dad’s Army: Too Old, Too Slow, Too Damned Good.” It is hard to argue.