My greatest fear is fooling myself because I don’t like to look stupid. Deceiving myself I have fallen in love, then fallen out rather quickly — with disastrous results. It has happened only twice in the past few years.
I no longer worry about worrying. The only thing about being old — I am 70 — that I worry about is that time passes so quickly. When you are young, tomorrow seems an eternity away. Now, if someone says I can have something in six months, that’s fine. It seems unfair; the clock should work the other way round. The Buddhists have a wonderful expression to banish worry: imagine battering a bubble with a feather.
When I am annoyed I whistle under my breath pretending that I am not annoyed, until someone points out that I am, and then I explode. Things that get my goat are organisations such as Waterstone’s, which, while it is repairing one of its shops, says: “We apologise for any inconvenience caused by the refurbishment of your bookshop.” It is not my bloody bookshop. British Rail, or whatever it calls itself now, is guilty of the same thing. “Sorry for the disruption to your services,” it says. It is trying to blame us for its shortcomings. It is a deeply vulgar assault on our lovely robust English language.
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I cope with disappointment by remembering past disappointments that have amounted to nothing in the end.
My favourite performer is a former student called Patricia Kerrigan because she is incapable of being anything but honest. I don’t really like big stars because they are usually artificial.
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I hate politicians who occupy the high moral ground and are always protecting themselves from making mistakes. They haven’t got the balls to admit that sometimes they are wrong. If Clinton had been a gentleman he would have referred to Monica Lewinsky in a way that would at least have given her some dignity.
The people I admire most in the world are my children, because they are full of laughter and put me in my place gently. They are wonderful at pricking my balloons, which means they are not frightened of me. I would not have dared to correct my parents.
From my parents I learnt not to put success before humanity. My father was a compulsive salesman, a very interesting man, but we didn’t get on.
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The worst thing about family life is the desire to control.
I relax by playing and singing Bob Dylan songs very badly on my guitar.
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If I could change one law it would be to get rid of the Health & Safety Executive and let people take their f***ing chances. They are doing away with the kind of buses you can jump on and off. It’s horrid. And if people want to smoke, let them.
I’m not afraid of death, not at all. I had a heart attack and a double bypass three years ago and I dealt with fear through information. I asked the surgeons and nurses all the time exactly what they were doing. It was fascinating.
I have endless unfinished business. I want to write a lot more, perform my own work. I find subterfuge scary, lights in my face scary, but engaging with an audience isn’t scary. If I am worried about an audience I go to the bar and meet them. I also want to find a publisher for my autobiography.
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The trait I most admire in other people is an enthusiasm for life.
My favourite piece of music is Shostakovich’s Fifth Symphony, the slow movement.
What upsets me most is political correctness, bigotry and stereotyping. The Daily Mail is the thing I dislike most on this planet.
My most embarrassing moment was not being able to find my voice the first time I had to sing on the stage, despite a friendly accompanist giving me the note over and over again. It was in The Hostage by Brendan Behan at Stratford when Joan Littlewood was there.
My advice is to face fear on the nose.
Dudley Sutton is appearing in Killing Kittens at the Edinburgh Festival