There are a couple of things that immediately strike you about these liaisons. One, that London’s premier party girls would look past it with anything over 26 on their arm; and, two, that, as of now, there is one rule for women and another for men when it comes to dating across the generations. If you’re male and involved with someone significantly younger, you are still automatically dirty, sad and generally ripe for mocking. But if the toy’s a boy, it’s a different story.
This double standard has quite a bit to do with the youthful state of the new generation of toyboy owners, and a lot to do with our attitude to sex. Now, sex is all about women and what we want. Twenty years ago, you couldn’t find 10 females at a party who had a truly fulfilling sex life — and most were of the opinion that so long as their partner was satisfied, that was enough. The SF/ KM generation has buried the Men Need It More attitude for good. They are picking partners on the basis of their bums, their stamina and their availability for horizontal holidays (school-leavers on a gap year are obviously at an advantage). It may seem tawdry at times, but it still looks a lot more wholesome than the reverse arrangement: Peter Stringfellow in a thong with his latest conquest; Woody Allen and Soon-Yi (has he ever truly regained our respect? Discuss). With the fit older woman/younger man relationship, at least you know neither is having to fake it.
That said, choosing the right toyboy is tricky, and even the experts are still learning. Sadie’s last one looked the rock’n’roll part, but young Andy doesn’t appear to have the necessary cred (it’s harsh to judge a man by his swimmers, but they are undeniably Tony Blair). Kate, meanwhile, has gone from genuine bad boy to public-school wannabe bad boy (not a good look), although she could get away with dating Frank Skinner, frankly.
Which brings us to the main reason why we are more amused by than contemptuous of the toyboy relationship. Power. Bottom line, it is cool for a woman to be independent enough and confident enough to choose a partner purely for laughs. Post-Diana, we are all slightly allergic to the marriage of female youth and beauty with male wealth and position. Even if it does boil down to how good he is at tying a cherry stalk with his tongue, there is something refreshing about a woman picking a man without any regard for his share portfolio, postcode or prospects. In other words, behaving the way men have always been able to behave.