TOUGH TIME
We had to talk to the Guards, says Brian Dowling as he addresses ‘dark and heavy’ comments towards his growing family
Brian details the shocking messages he has received since starting a family
VIRGIN Media star Brian Dowling has detailed the backlash he has received since starting a family.
The Six O'Clock Show host appeared on the most recent episode of Doireann Garrihy's podcast, Doireann and Friends.
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Brian and Arthur, already parents to one-year-old Blake, recently welcomed their second child, Blu, into the world.
The presenter has spoken openly about the birth of their second daughter on Doireann's podcast and disclosed the "heavy and dark" hate they have faced.
Doireann said: "The way people react to your story and your journey it has not been easy."
The 46-year-old agreed, as he added: "No, I find if I don’t laugh at it, I’ll cry, but I cried so much over the years… I don’t wanna cry anymore, I want to laugh."
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He then went on to admit that he feels the struggle in surrogacy isn't isolated to gay couples, as over the years Brian has received messages from heterosexual followers who divulged their difficult surrogacy journey.
The dad-of-two explained: "People would message, 'We used a sperm donor and no one knows, we haven't told my family, my husband is infertile', I think people really relate to that struggle of just wanting to have a family.
“I always think people think surrogacy is a gay issue, it’s not a gay issue, it’s a family issue, you have heterosexual couples who go through it, you have gay couples, women alone who go through it.”
The host said that being open in their journey through books and documentaries helps people, but also inspires nasty comments.
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Brian said: "It's like 10% horrible, but 90% so good, so lovely and so much respect. But, sometimes that 10% can be really heavy and dark."
The two presenters agreed that generally it is easy to let the hate comments land like "water off a ducks back" but you can have days where you definitely "don't need it".
Brian Dowling enjoy family time with newborn daughter and Blake
Recalling a nasty message which he received from someone who didn't hide "behind a username", Brian joked that often times he'll applaud a hate comment as they have the bravery to direct message him hateful comments with their real accounts.
He said: "Often time they end up blocking me, because I'm petty and I repeatedly message them for their name, but I'm always like, 'You blocked me?'.
"You just told me, my 'daughter should be taken away from me,' and you block me?"
He continued to explain a recent comment he got regarding the birth of his second child: "'It’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve’, that made me belly laugh."
The popular presenter said that those comments are easier to deal with compared to the "darker" comments and messages he receives.
He then addressed one comment, as he said: "The stuff like, 'She needs to be removed from the home so she can go to a heterosexual couple'."
Brian also revealed that himself and Arthur had to go to the Guards recently.
He explained: "It got to the point where we had to go to speak to the guards, like it's gotten really bad recently".
'IT'S GOTTEN REALLY BAD'
He added: "I went through this blissful life of never really getting trolled, until we announced we were having Blake. And then it completely changed, it was a real turning point for both of us".
Brian also told how he felt guilt for his sister Aoife as she was never supposed to go into labour with Blu.
Aoife had intended to deliver the baby via C-section before her due date, however, that wasn't how it panned out.
He said: "It happened with Blake, we had Blake five days ahead of her due date. That was fabulous.
"With Blu, Blu was born on the 23rd of June. We were having a [scheduled] C-section a week after that date - she was due on the 4th of July and we were going a few days early."
Brian told how they were playing with Blake in the garden the day Blu was born, just two days after he had started his paternity leave and they had nothing prepared for the new baby's arrival.
He noticed Aoife was crying in the kitchen and went in to check on her and she was experiencing a 'really heavy discharge', known as a 'show', and was worried as it was a sign that labour is starting.
Brian called the hospital and at this stage Aoife was having painful contractions, which they hoped were false labour contractions.
But it soon emerged that she was actually in labour and about to give birth, causing the family to rush to the hospital with his sister.
And once they arrived there, everything progressed very quickly and luckily, Aoife did manage to have a C-section delivery.