NO KIDDING
Like Phil Foden and wife Emma, I was teen mum at 19 – trolls called me ‘scummy mummy’, being young made me better parent
I lost count of the number of mean comments I heard, from OAPs on the bus to middle-class women in the street.
FANS were stunned when England star Phil Foden dashed home last week for the birth of his THIRD child – and he’s only 24.
One woman who understands is single Tracy Kiss, now 36, from High Wycombe, Bucks, who became pregnant at 19.
10
10
She said Foden and his partner Rebecca, 23, were right to focus on their kids and young parents shouldn’t be judged. She spoke to Anna Roberts.
IN late summer 2007, I unexpectedly fainted. I didn’t know why — it had never happened before — so I went to hospital.
There I had blood tests taken and was told something that would alter the course of my life: “You’re pregnant.”
And I wasn’t just pregnant, but 30 weeks or six months pregnant — I was slim and the baby was hiding itself, so it just didn’t show.
Doctors told me she, Millie — who’s now 16 and awaiting her GCSE results — would arrive within weeks.
Shortly afterwards my bump suddenly “popped” — it was finally real!
I wasn’t involved with the father, and while Mum and Dad were supportive, I didn’t want their help.
I was old enough to get myself into this mess — I was old enough to cope with it.
Most read in Fabulous
So, in a haze, I scrambled together savings from my three jobs in insurance, a nightclub and as an estate agent and started researching the best cot and pram.
Family friends brought over babygrows and I attended last-minute doctor’s appointments.
Calling the local authority, I explained my situation and was moved promptly into a council flat — something I suspect Phil Foden won’t need — and I prepared myself for the birth.
Phil Foden’s girlfriend Rebecca Cooke gives birth to boy with England star to fly back to Euro 2024 for Slovakia clash
At Stoke Mandeville Hospital, in Aylesbury, Bucks, Millie arrived, weighing 6lb ½oz. She was healthy and beautiful but boy could she yell.
That day, holding my puce-faced newborn in my arms after 18 hours of panting and pushing with no pain relief, I grew up.
I had been an A-level student but opted not to go to university so I could care for her.
I also realised a love I hadn’t experienced before. I would have thrown myself in front of a truck for her.
It’s that love which keeps you going, whether you’re a teenage single mum or a pro footballer adored by millions.
Because, as every parent knows, even “easy” babies are hard work.
You’re stuck in the trenches and for the first six weeks I endured a monotonous merry go-round of nappies, feeds, babygrow changes and vomiting.
10
As soon as I fell asleep, she woke up. I existed on adrenaline and even though I was alone, I coped. I had no choice.
My parents were available, but I didn’t want them there at midnight, 2am or 4am. They had parented me. It was my turn now.
I was a teenager, juggling balls and trying not to drop them. But I didn’t care because I adored Millie and with every milestone — her first tooth, step and word — I counted myself lucky.
I didn’t know — unlike Phil and Rebecca, who also have a son Ronnie, five and daughter True born in 2021 — what it was like to be part of a couple.
I didn’t get to have that cutesy picture of dad holding the car seat as we left the maternity ward, but I did know what it was like to be trolled.
I lost count of the number of mean comments I heard, from OAPs on the bus to middle-class women in the street.
“Scummy mummy, living off benefits,” was a favourite insult — but one I learnt quickly to ignore.
Phil and Rebecca know this too. After England’s Instagram page, with 12 million followers, posted a video of Phil returning to camp the day after his partner delivered. one troll wrote: “Kids having kids”.
Ironically my trolls’ taunts spurred me on, giving me a fire in my belly I don’t think I’d have had were it not for Millie.
I fought hard and now run an aesthetics business alongside being a personal trainer.
But looking back, I could see myself living a parallel life, getting p***ed, going to clubs.
You can’t do that when someone so small depends on you.
It’s that love which keeps you going, whether you’re a teenage single mum or a pro footballer adored by millions
That’s why Phil, in many ways, makes the perfect father. He’s so young but at the top of his game with England and Man City.
Plus he’s been dedicated to Rebecca for years — she’s no flash in the pan. They met as teenagers at a party.
He’s not like those layabout 24-year-olds you see off their faces scurrying around town centres on a Saturday night on booze or drugs.
I had my second child, Gabriel, now 12, when I was 25, and while I don’t begrudge older mums, I wouldn’t want to be one.
According to the Office for National Statistics in 2022 the average age of a woman giving birth was 31, while the average age of first time mothers was 30. They must be exhausted.
If I’d been ten or so years older before becoming a mother then I wouldn’t have the relationship I have with my children now.
10
For a start, being older I would have had less energy and less patience.
As a teen mum I just got on with it, found my feet and became responsible and capable because at the time I didn’t know any different.
My body snapped back to its pre-pregnancy size through fitness, which in turn gave me the confidence to date — although I’m currently single.
If I’d have been alone at 40 with a newborn baby, I’d be more tired, less happy with my body, less energetic and far more stressed from the shock of living my life for myself instead of putting others first.
Being a teen mother made me into the best parent and woman that I could be — it taught me so much and made me unbreakable.
Express themselves
And now I see that in other mums who had an early start too. Look at our new deputy Prime Minister, Angela Rayner.
She once said she was “saved” by falling pregnant at the age of 16.
She left school with no qualifications after discovering she was expecting, and was told she would “never amount to anything”.
Angela is inspirational and clearly having a kid young hasn’t held her back.
Like her, I was raised in a council house, on the Oxon/Bucks border and growing up we had days when we didn’t eat.
We were very poor. Mum and dad worked 12-hour factory shifts day and night to provide for us.
They were like ships in the night but my older brother and I were their main priority.
We grew vegetables to eat as they were affordable and we were conscious of the value of money. We never wasted anything.
That upbringing taught me how to be resourceful, which you need to be when you are a teen mum.
I’m friends with my children and that is because of my age.
I’m a “cool” mum. I was very over-protected as a child, told that I couldn’t do things because I was too young and it wasn’t safe.
That had a knock-on effect and I felt incapable and immature, it was a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I’ve given my children the respect and ability to be responsible themselves, and as a result of it, they are far more mature and motivated individuals.
10
My children know that they can come to me with any and every concern without being judged or offended.
If Millie did get pregnant, then I wouldn’t freak out but cope with it.
However, I hope she doesn’t before she is ready and chooses to. The ideal situation would be that she was excited and open to it.
I’m always honest and open with them, which allows them to be the same with me in return.
I appreciate their individuality and allow them to express themselves in whichever way they choose.
I see older mums having tantrums with little ones and stressing out Older parents have such high expectations for their children, which leaves them stressed, on edge and feeling like failures. You can’t live your life through your children.
So, in defence of me, Phil and Rebecca, young parents are making a comeback — and about time too!
Celebs on life as teenage mothers
10
Stacey Solomon: LOOSE Women star Stacey, 34 – who now has a brood of five with hubby Joe Swash, 42 – first gave birth to son Zachary at just 17.
In her book Tap To Tidy, she recalled: “I felt completely out of control and out of my depth.”
10
Rebecca Ferguson: X FACTOR singer Rebecca, 37, gave birth to eldest daughter Lillie at 18 before she found fame.
She explaind: “Having kids at that age was the best thing that ever happened to me. It gave me so much strength.”
10
Jamie Lynn Spears: BRITNEY’S younger sister surprised fans when she announced she was expecting daughter Maddie at the age of 15 in 2007.
Jamie Lynn, 33, said: “Bringing her into my life was not something that I regret or held me back.”
10
Solange Knowles: BEYONCE’S sister Solange, 38, gave birth to son Daniel at 17 and doesn’t have any regrets.
She said: “I have been so blessed that my son is the coolest kid ever.
"Of course, that first year of not sleeping had tough parts.”
10
Sofia Vergara: MODERN Family’s Sofia, 51, was 19 when she had her son Manolo.
Read more on the Irish Sun
She said recently: “It is great that I had him young because now I’m going to be 52 and he’s 32.
“I kind of grew up together with my son.”