I’m on benefits & got son, 5, an iPhone & my girl, 11, wears designer gear – trolls say I fleece taxpayer, who cares?
WHITNEY AINSCOUGH, 30, from Rotherham, has three children: Cora, 11, Addison, five, and Adley, two, with partner, Joel Christopher, 32, a welder, and tells Anna Roberts…
"Beaming with pride, I dropped my daughter Cora off for her first day at comprehensive school.
With her acrylic nails, highlighted hair and lashings of lipgloss, she couldn’t have looked prettier.
But my biggest source of pride was the brand new Vivienne Westwood shoes she was wearing and the designer bag she had slung over her shoulder.
“Have a good day, love!” I shouted as she walked through the school gates.
Cora had been begging me for the patent black ballet flats with a gold orb on the front for weeks.
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Even though they cost £100 and I’d bought them with my benefit money, they were worth every penny. Cora looked fabulous.
But just a few hours later, my phone rang. It was the school headteacher.
I rolled my eyes to the heavens as I was told Cora’s designer shoes were against the school’s uniform policy and she had been banned from wearing them.
Worse still, they had put her in a pair of clumpy old shoes which were a size too small and gave her blisters.
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Obviously I complained, so we’ve now got until September 28 to get her shoes which are in line with their clothing policy, which bans adornments.
Cora’s already picked out some new ones, which are also designer. They’re £80 from Melissa, which does collabs with Vivienne Westwood, and are plain with bows.
But this time I’m emailing pictures to the school so they can give them the OK before I buy them.
It’s not the only item of designer school clothing she has.
She carries everything in a £230 Michael Kors handbag, rather than your run-of-the-mill rucksack.
Her PE kit, which includes £170 Adidas Pro trainers, doesn’t fit inside, but she swore blind she wouldn’t go to class without it, so I had to buy it for her.
Come winter, I’ll buy her an Armani designer coat for around £150, as she refuses to wear any old puffa from Primark.
She’s got an iPhone 14 worth around £1,000 too, which is my old phone.
But she already moans, “Mum, why can’t I have your more expensive one?”.
Even my six-year-old son, who is in year one in primary school, has a £540 iPhone 12.
Cora’s generally very image conscious, which is why I let her get acrylic nails and her belly button pierced aged 11.
Next summer, when she’s 12, I’ll let her get her nose pierced too. It’s against school policy, but I’ll worry about that later.
She wears make-up to school including mascara, lipgloss and concealer, and has her hair dyed and straightened, but no one’s said anything.
I’ve been torn apart on my TikTok channel for buying designer school gear for Cora.
“£100 is too much for school shoes,” someone said. Another told me: “Schools ban designer for a good reason.”
And my partner, who is not Cora’s dad, says it’s a waste of cash as she grows out of things too quickly. But it’s water off a duck’s back to me.
I love my children and want them to have what I didn’t when growing up.
At school, I envied the other kids’ trendy Rockport shoes, while I was stuck in £6 versions.
My friends call me a “lenient mum” and I am — to an extent. But if Cora doesn’t do her homework I’ll come down on her like a ton of bricks.
Education is so important and I want Cora, who’s intelligent and well-behaved, to make the most of her talents. That’s why I’m prepared to stick to the school rules — even though I think they are nonsense.
Despite my kids’ high fashion standards, I’m the complete opposite.
I wear old Primark T-shirts I’ve had for a decade.
It’s how I can afford their clothes, despite being on benefits until the end of August.
I had a good job in a pharmacy until I returned from Adley’s maternity leave in May 2022.
But with having to pay nursery fees and wraparound childcare costs, I couldn’t afford to go back to work.
So I went on benefits and claimed £1,200 per month. I didn’t pay council tax and my rent was £400.
But I could afford designer goodies for the kids because I budgeted carefully.
Some people say I’m bonkers.
“A six-year-old doesn’t need such a posh phone,” is something I hear a lot.
But I really don’t care what others think.
I’m not fleecing the taxpayer, something I have been accused of by followers on TikTok. I am not committing benefit fraud.
I was legally entitled to Universal Credit and I’ve paid into the system for many years.
And after on one occasion making more than £2,000 in a week through my TikTok videos, I’ve now come off benefits and make an average of £800 a week.
My priorities might be different to other people’s, but so what?
I don’t judge how other people parent their children, so they shouldn’t judge how I parent mine."
Follow her TikTok account: https://www.tiktok.com/@itsmebadmom?lang=en
‘Uniforms can help eliminate bullying’
By Jenny Paul
FRANCESCA DE FRANCO says parents like Whitney should encourage children to follow the school dress code rules.
The 44-year-old PR consultant lives in Banstead, Surrey, with her daughters Sofia, 14, twins Maria and Gabriella, 12, and husband Matthew Collom, 46, who works in financial publishing.
Francesca, who is the founder of parenting website The Parent Social, says: “If the school clothing policy says ‘no adornments’ then she’s bang to rights, isn’t she? Our school clothing policy says the same.
“Uniforms are a good thing. First, there’s the cost.
"It might not seem like it when you’re shelling out for a uniform at the start of term, but over time it works out cheaper as you’re not buying so many clothes.
“My kids wouldn’t want to be seen in the same outfit in the same week, and maybe they’d not want to wear an outfit from the week before either.
“A uniform is easy – you wash and iron it, and it’s ready to go. It also saves time in the morning because there’s no wrangling over what’s cool and what’s not.
"Uniforms are a great social leveller and they eliminate bullying if someone isn’t wearing the latest designer clothes, or perhaps because they can’t afford to rotate many different outfits.
“If you wear your own clothes to school, it’s too much of a distraction.
“Trends can escalate and kids are thinking about what they’re wearing – not what they’re learning.
“Uniforms also make children look smart and because they feel good about themselves, that puts them in the mood to learn.
“In my experience, schools are very transparent on their uniform policy in the same way they are with discipline.
“Parents have access to policies before choosing to send their child to a particular school.
“If they don’t agree with the policy, then they don’t have to send their child there.
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“Venting on social media when they’re frustrated with school decision making can happen but it doesn’t help anyone – it can make matters worse.
“It isn’t the right channel for constructive discussion.”