My husband is ruining my chance at motherhood
DEAR DEIDRE: After years of waiting, I’m starting to lose hope that I’ll ever have the family I’ve always dreamed of.
All I want is to be a mother, but it’s never the right time for my husband.
I’m 37, he’s 42 and we’ve been together for eight years.
At the beginning of our relationship, he was very optimistic about our future and would often tell me he was excited to start a family one day.
However, over the years his enthusiasm has waned.
Now, every time I try to bring up the subject, he does his best to avoid the conversation.
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He keeps telling me it isn’t the right time - but I’m worried that in his eyes it never will be.
It’s excuse after excuse. Whether he’s claiming that our lives are too busy or that our mortgage is too expensive, there’s always a reason against us having kids.
At this point, I’m starting to lose hope that he will ever be ready and I’m worried I’ll never have a chance to be a mother.
It’s alright for him, he doesn’t have to worry about fertility, but my forties are around the corner and I don’t want to leave it too late.
I love him so much and the last thing I want is to leave him, but what if he ruins my chances of motherhood?
I don’t know what to do. Please help.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: It’s time to have a serious conversation.
If having children is something you want, and his viewpoint has changed, it’s important you get solid answers sooner rather than later.
If it comes to it you might need to decide what you want more - him or kids. Otherwise, you’ll grow to resent him.
Talk to friends or consider counselling to help you make a decision. My support pack How Counselling Can Help has more information.