My best friend couldn’t care less about my big career break
DEAR DEIDRE: My best friend couldn’t care less that I’ve got a big gig as a backing singer with a famous band. It’s a big deal for me and I’m buzzing but why isn’t she happy for me?
She’s always been like this and I’m not sure why. Singing is my number one love and she is an arty person so I always try to show an interest in her pursuits. I’ve been to a couple of her exhibitions and I always ask about what she’s working on.
We text most days and when we meet up, we have such a laugh but she never asks about my singing or even wishes me luck if I’ve got an audition coming up.
Friends that I’m less close to have come to watch me sing and they always take an interest but my bestie refuses to acknowledge that this is my vocation.
We are both 38 and we’ve been friends since we met at college where I was doing a music degree and she was studying English.
Both of us have partners and we make an effort to meet up at least every couple of months - but she never asks about my music. It’s making me question our friendship.
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DEIDRE SAYS: First of all, congratulations on your gig.
I’m sorry your friend doesn’t have the same enthusiasm which is likely down to jealousy or envy. You were together at college so perhaps she figured you’d be on the same success trajectory.
She doesn’t acknowledge your achievements which says more about her than it does about you.
Perhaps she sees you as more successful and is struggling with that perception, believing she can’t achieve the same satisfaction.
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Or perhaps she’s worried your music will take you away from your friendship.
If you value your friendship, you can continue to enjoy it as it is, or you can call her out on it.
My support pack called Standing Up For Yourself will help you with this conversation.
