I’m a pansexual non-binary person who is truly attracted to people of all genders. Figuring out how exactly to label my sexuality was a difficult journey, because there wasn’t a lot of pansexual visibility when I was coming of age in the early 2010s.
Fast forward a decade later and pan visibility has exploded. Major celebrities like Miley Cyrus, Yungblud, and Demi Lovato have come out as pansexual. The annual Pansexual Visibility Day, on May 24, has given the community a time to celebrate the beauty and joy of being pansexual. And as more people come out as pan, that community is growing by leaps and bounds every year.
Being pansexual means being attracted to people regardless of gender, rather than for their gender, according to Jay Watts, known as Jay Tha’ Loveologist, a pansexual sex counselor and founder of the Center for Empowered Sexual Wellness.
“Pan means being open to all loving, whether you’re looking at gender or not looking at gender. It means understanding that romantic, emotional, and potentially sexual attraction is geared towards that energy you’re receiving from individuals,” they told them.
What does pansexual mean?
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the term pansexual first came about in 1914 in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology to describe feeling sexual towards everyone. Since then, the term has evolved into something people wear with pride, a term that describes attraction to people of all genders or no gender at all.
A 2018 report by the Human Rights Campaign found that 14% of LGBTQ+ youth between the ages of 13 and 17 said they are pansexual. In the last decade, prominent celebrities like Janelle Monáe and Cara Delevingne have proudly come out as pansexual.
“Pansexuality is really about looking outside of the box and saying ‘hey, we just want individuals to show up as themselves,’” Watts said. “It’s hard for some individuals to wrap their head around because we as a society haven’t done a good job in showcasing that.”
She told them. that pansexuality in particular is inclusive of people who are agender, or people without a gender.
Am I pansexual?
A good way to tell whether you are pansexual is by thinking about how you feel attraction. Ask yourself if someone’s gender is crucial for you in order to develop feelings for them.
“When you think of your capacity to love, are you limiting yourself, or are you in your head saying ‘hey, whatever energy comes my way, I just may be receptive to it regardless of gender?’” she said. “If it’s the latter, you just might be pan.”
Growing up in rural Kentucky, Watts said finding the lexicon to describe their pansexuality was life-changing.
“Oftentimes, especially in rural, conservative environments, you only hear about one form of loving,” she said. Once they opened themselves up, they realized there was a whole world of romantic experiences to have.
Watts hopes that as more people become aware of the term and information on pansexuality becomes more accessible, more people will feel empowered to come out as pan and find the language to describe their experience.
What is the difference between pansexual and non-binary?
A common misconception about being pansexual is that it somehow effects a person’s gender. Pansexuality refers to who someone is attracted to, while being non-binary refers to someone’s gender.
While there are non-binary pansexual people, being non-binary and being pansexual are not inherently linked.
What is the difference between pansexual and bisexual?
Watts explained that there is a difference in language between pansexual and bisexual that people often misunderstand. “Pan-” comes from the Greek prefix that means “all.” “Bi-” comes from the Greek prefix “bi-,” which means “two.”
According to Watts, people who are pansexual tend to be attracted to potential partners regardless of gender, whereas bisexual people tend to be attracted to two genders, though for many bi people this is not a hard and fast rule.
As the terms have evolved, definitions of pansexuality and bisexuality have in part come to depend on individual preference. Some people are both pan and bi, and use either term interchangeably to describe themselves. Others say they are firmly one or the other.
What matters is that you ask individuals about their personal identity (when it is appropriate and respectful) rather than assuming anything about them or the language they use to describe themselves.
Do pansexual people have to be polyamorous?
Another common misconception Watts finds is the idea that pansexual people are automatically polyamorous, or want to ethically date or love multiple people at once.
While pansexual people are attracted to people of all genders, this doesn’t mean all pan people want to date or love multiple people at once.
“Although I am polyamorous, sometimes people think that since you are an individual who is attracted to others based on how they are, not necessarily because of their gender, individuals can put that hypersexuality on it,” Watts said.
In short, the answer is no, not all pansexual people are polyamorous.
What does the pansexual flag look like?
According to Grand Rapids Pride, the pansexual flag was created in 2010 to promote pansexual visibility and pride. The flag consists of three horizontal stripes: a pink stripe, a bright yellow stripe, and a blue stripe.
The pink stripe represents women, the blue represents men, and the yellow stripe represents all other people on the gender spectrum and outside of it, like bigender, agender, and non-binary people.
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