The smallest gestures have the largest impact in Andrea Pallaoro’s indie drama Monica.
In one of the film’s most memorable moments, Monica (Trace Lysette) does her mother Eugenia’s makeup. Looking at herself in the mirror, Eugenia (Patricia Clarkson) admires her freshly applied bold red lip with a renewed sense of confidence. The makeover continues at a nearby hair salon, where the stylist thanks Monica for bringing Eugenia into the shop after an extended time away. Eugenia is dying of brain cancer, so recently, cosmetic upkeep has lost much of its allure. But with Monica back in town to spend some quality time with her mother before she passes away, these two women have every reason to indulge a bit, if only for a little while.
But this mother-daughter bonding time is particularly complicated. “She doesn’t know who I am,” Monica tells Eugenia’s caretaker later on, brushing off a comment about how lucky Eugenia is to have a daughter like her. Monica means this in multiple senses. She left home as a teenager and hasn’t been home since transitioning, so Eugenia really doesn’t know who “Monica” is at all. That the aging woman is suffering from dementia further distances the mother-daughter duo. For much of the film, Eugenia mistakes Monica for being yet another caretaker there to rob her of her self-sufficiency. And yet, thanks to the quietly powerful performances given by Trace Lysette and Patricia Clarkson, the closeness that would otherwise define their relationship still manages to shine through, even on the verge of death.
Ahead of Monica’s release, Trace Lysette and Patricia Clarkson talked with Them via on Zoom about subverting the traditional “queer coming-home” narrative, making history at the Venice Film Festival, and what artists they listen to when getting ready to go out.
What drew you both to this project?
Trace Lysette: I got the script in December 2016 and was immediately excited that it was a trans character playing the title role, which is unheard of and rare. I just don’t get those opportunities very often. Then, I read the script and saw how beautiful it was and how much potential it had, and I knew it was worth fighting for. I started the audition process in early 2017, had some dinners with Andrea, and auditioned some more. I just kept checking in about it.
Patricia Clarkson: I met Andrea in Marrakech. I was on the jury [for the Marrakech Film Festival]. So I get a call saying, “I’m sending you a movie with Andrea Pallaoro directing and Trace Lysette in the cast,” and I literally said yes in one day. I knew how important, how rare [it was] to have this beautiful trans woman leading a film. I loved the delicacy of it, the intimacy of it, the spareness of it.
Trace, you said you first got this script back in 2016 and had been auditioning for the part as far back as 2017. Having been attached to this project for almost seven years, do you feel that your connection to the character has grown at all?
TL: You hear about these films that take eight, nine, 10, 11 years to make sometimes, and you’re always like, “What the hell?” Now, I’m a part of that journey and it’s wild. But I think Monica was always important to me. I did come on as an executive producer at some point, just because of the amount of notes I was giving [on what] they were asking me. I was always ready to dive in as an actor, as a producer, in whatever way I could because the character was that important. The story was that important because it represented so many trans women that I know, including myself. So I don’t know if the connection’s grown stronger — it’s like your baby that you just can’t give up on. You just keep fighting for them.
In LGBTQ+ films, the idea of a queer character coming home to their estranged family is familiar territory. But I love how Monica complicated that formula by having Eugenia be truly unable to recognize Monica. It affords Monica this level of anonymity that I found very compelling, because we get to see how she chooses to utilize that.
PC: I thought it was such a brilliant, beautiful conceit for the film. It gave it an elegance and an eloquence. My own child is standing in front of me, and because of my being in and out of lucidity, [I don’t see her]. But I think, in the end, the beauty of this relationship is that your child is your child is your child, and the reckoning is beautiful. What I think has drawn people to this film is that it isn’t obvious. Trace is such a beautiful, subtle, exquisite actress, and she just carries this film effortlessly. I think that us coming together is fulfilling.
TL: I think that’s one of my favorite things about the film, is that there just aren’t any preachy moments. There’s no knockdown, drag-out moment. It’s just real life. What do we do with this finite time we have left?
Patricia, you’ve played your fair share of complicated mothers…
PC: Yes. Too many to count, honestly [laughs]. But I do always have beautiful children! Okay, dammit?
How does Eugenia compare to some of the other mothers you’ve played in the past?
PC: Well, first of all, her illness puts a very specific pall on the character. Brain cancer in the last stages is quite brutal, and yet, I think she is really filled with pride and dignity and does not want to leave this family behind. But I loved Eugenia. I loved the process, the journey she had to take. It crossed me at times, just me as Patti. It took a part of me. But she is certainly quite different from, like, Sharp Objects or Easy A.
In a way, the dynamic between your two characters is defined by the space between you. But the film works because of the closeness we know always exists between mothers and their children. How did you two, as actors, work to establish that connection?
TL: For me, it’s always about the truth of what’s happening in the script and in the story and staying in the realness of it. Whenever I found myself over-preparing or overthinking something, I just had to take a step back, because it was all already there and I knew who she was. Sometimes, if you overthink, you’ll do yourself a disservice as an actor. So I just prepare. I know who she is. I get the shell the way I need to get it: She talks a little different than me. I get that her musical taste is different from mine. Her family’s different from mine. Who she hangs out with is probably different from me. Once I had that figured out, the heart was already there.
PC: I think Trace and I are similar in that way. We don’t live here [points to head]; we live here [points to stomach]. We live in the gut, in the heart. Every day, when we had these scenes together, they weren’t easy, but there wasn’t an effort either, and I’m very thankful for that. Trace and I had to just exist together on screen. Andrea Pallaoro requires that of you.
TL: He’s very specific.
PC: He’s very specific. Did we say he was specific? Because he’s very specific! He’s brilliant.
TL: Which is a nice challenge!
Backstory details about the relationship between your two characters are very sparse. We don’t really dive into it at all, even if the film makes it clear that there is this rich history. Given how little was in the script, did you feel like you needed to fill some of those details in yourself?
TL: Backstory for Monica wasn’t as intense as some of the other characters I’ve played. I just feel like there were so many parallels in her life to mine, so I could always just lean on that. It was more figuring out how she would deliver how she’s feeling, because that was definitely a little different than Trace. That being said, there were no “easy” scenes. Everything was emotionally charged, even when she didn’t have dialogue. There was always a lot going on in her mind. But like I said, I always try to find the bridge in whatever’s going on. Even if it’s not identical to what has happened in my life, there’s usually something that can have reciprocity.
On a similar note, there are quite a few scenes of Monica in cars, driving. It’s this fascinating recurring motif, because you’re correct about how many scenes there are where Monica doesn’t have dialogue, where she’s kind of just reacting — and often, reacting in a way we can safely assume isn’t true to how she’s feeling. In the car, however, I think we’re seeing Monica at her realest and most raw. That’s where we see her screaming in frustration and where we see her crying and bawling her eyes out.
TL: Well, I knew that the restraint would not be there as much in a car by myself. I knew that she was going to let some things out, especially when the car breaks down on the side of the road. I mean, if you’d seen the frontal [shot] of what was going on, it was an absolute shitshow. I was trembling, even after the first take of that scene. It was definitely a choice for them to shoot me from the back of my head. And truth be told, I thought they were getting [my breakdown] in the mirror, but even the mirror was soft! When I saw the final [cut], I was like, “Oh my God, they didn’t see all that beautiful mess!” I had to make my peace with it, that the audience doesn’t get to see that. But you do get to hear it. I never phoned anything in, so hopefully it still moved you.
Alhough it’s safe to assume that Monica originally left home due to some form of LGBTQ+ discrimination, there isn’t really much direct transphobia or queerphobia in the film itself. Aside from a quick comment, where Monica talks about Eugenia dropping her off at the train station as a kid, there is very little discussion about the disapproval Monica may have experienced because of her identity. It’s easy to imagine another film foregrounding the bigotry more. How did you both feel about that aspect of the script?
TL: I mean, it allows us to see other parts of her. It allows us to focus on other parts of her journey, of her existence. I think most people know that transphobia is rampant. So the fact that this film does not shove that down your throat for the entire two hours? It’s unique. We do get glimpses of it, like you said. But my hope is that the masses go and see this movie — and let’s be honest, sometimes it might be more digestible if that’s not constantly being shoved at them. If they can just see Monica do normal things, like hold a baby, or cry, or I don’t know, be on the phone with her ex, yearning for love or some kind of attention — those are things that every human can relate to. I think it was a very intentional thing they did, and I think it’s amazing.
PC: Several people I know have seen it and that’s what they talk about, that it’s not exploitative of the transgender experience. It’s incredibly enveloping and warm and alive and true. [I hope] the people who see this film walk out with love in their hearts, as corny as that sounds.
The film premiered at the Venice Film Festival last year, where you, Trace, became the first trans actress to lead a competing film in the festival’s entire 89-year history. That’s such an accomplishment, but it’s also disappointing to think that it took nearly nine decades to get to this point. How did that entire experience feel for you?
TL: Yeah, 90 years is a long time and it’s not lost on me. It’s bittersweet in that way. For me, personally, obviously it was just a huge honor and responsibility. I was nervous. I hoped people would like the film. When we got the eleven-and-a-half minute standing ovation, I really had an out-of-body thing happen. There were so many thoughts running through my head at that time: What does this mean for us? Will we get distribution? Will this translate to some sort of success for me to where I’m not living gig-to-gig? Will I have a flourishing career? I just went to the bathroom and cried for like five or ten minutes. It was just a lot, but it was a beautiful day.
PC: Venice was absolutely a unique experience and Trace was the darling of the festival. And rightly so! It was beautiful to kind of be her backup singer and witness this historic moment in all its glory. Also, we looked so good that day.
You all owned that red carpet!
TL: We did look good!
One of my favorite scenes is when Monica is getting ready for what she’s hoping will be a hot date night, and she’s jamming out to “Dragostea Din Tei” by O-Zone, which I thought was such a hilarious choice. Do either of you have songs you like to get ready to?
TL: If I need to ramp it up, it’s going to be Lil Kim. Give me some ’90s Lil Kim.
PC: Well, I love anything Tina Turner. Tina’s always going to get you ready. You know, you can wear really high heels when you’re listening to Tina.
This conversation has been condensed and edited.
Monica opens in limited theaters on May 12.
Get the best of what’s queer. Sign up for Them’s weekly newsletter here.