Kristen Stewart recently appeared on Late Night with Seth Meyers, but for some daytime activities — namely, day drinking.
The actor and the comedian met at Boxers, a gay sports bar in the Chelsea neighborhood of Manhattan, and chaos ensued. Read on for the top five most unhinged moments from the video.
The duo started their day with a horrendously cursed assortment of beverages, handcrafted by Meyers himself. First was “The Panic Room,” consisting of a Celsius energy drink, an espresso martini, a Mountain Dew Kickstart, Yerba Mate, and last but not least, Xanax. ("To prevent a panic attack," in Meyers' words. They used a Tic Tac instead.)
Next came the Twilight-inspired drink. Though Stewart said, “You’d better be giving me your blood for this,” Meyers instead combined Bloody Mary mix, garlic, and palincă, a brandy that is popular in Romania (specifically Transylvania), all stirred up using a wooden stake.
To pay tribute to her portrayal of Princess Diana, Meyers blended Crown Royal, Budweiser (the “king of beers”), a Dairy Queen milkshake that came out “weird because we ordered it 10 days ago,” and Disney Princess-branded yogurt with ice.
Lastly, to honor her many roles in independent films, the two capped things off with a 40 in a paper bag, to which Stewart naturally said, “I love that.”
Next up, Stewart and Meyers played truth/dare or drink. For this game, they took turns providing questions or dares to the other person, who took a shot if they weren’t up for answering the question or taking the dare. One of Stewart’s questions for Meyers was: “When was the last time you pissed your pants?” Meyers had a hard time remembering but, hilariously, had a definitive answer for the last time he shit his pants, which had to do with an unfortunately timed run during the pandemic.
“That was nice that I shared that with you,” he said. “I was just gonna say, you’re a good dude for saying that,” she responded. Celebs, they’re… just like us?
Honestly, it was kind of sweet seeing Meyers sloshed and singing Stewart’s praises. “No lie, you’re one of my favorite actors, I love your choices, you’re a wonderful dramatic actor,” he said. To show off her acting chops, his team wrote “the dumbest lines of dialogue” for her to deliver on the spot, including a tearful, “Mom… dad… I’m a puppeteer.” Meyers professed that he had never directed before, but that didn’t stop him from yelling, “ANGRIER KRISTEN!” to which she responded, “I think I’m done.”
In a game that I will be recreating at my next party, Stewart and Meyers threw darts at a board of balloons, with each balloon corresponding to a shot that they’d then have to take. Some of them were non-alcoholic, like pickle brine, water, and even a shot glass full of Nerds, while others contained hard liquor. At one point when they were already several darts in, Meyers kept throwing darts at the board and yelling, “Have a shot of…” only for him to miss over and over before finally popping the balloon for prune juice.
That was kind of the opposite of Stewart’s own antics with the darts — she walked right up to the board and kept bashing her head against a balloon before stabbing it with a dart. “What are you doing, you think you’re gonna pop it with your head?” Meyers said, echoing the question undoubtedly on viewers' minds as well.
Last but obviously not least, Meyers said to his drinking buddy, “You’re a lesbian icon.” To which Stewart replied, “That’s right.” (Love a self-confident queen.) The host then asked Stewart to turn him into a lesbian icon with “a bunch of lesbian accessories,” including a carabiner, several short wigs, and a tote bag that read “Kiss More Girls.” From a clothing rack stacked with flannels and floral button-downs, Meyers ended up with an olive green beanie, wireframe glasses, a denim jacket over a white t-shirt, dark jeans, and Converse high-tops. Was it giving lesbian icon? Maybe if you squinted. But heartwarmingly, Meyers said, “I feel as though I’ve reverted to what I’m supposed to be.”
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