Delusional, transphobic antics had quite the moment this past weekend, with a cohort of Michigan parents bravely speaking out against a problem that definitely exists: litter boxes for furries in a local school’s bathrooms.
A woman named Lisa Hansen first raised the issue at a December 20 meeting of the Midland Public Schools Board, a recording of which is available on YouTube. Although Hansen initially intended to comment on the “unconstitutionality” of a “test to stay” program, which is used to control COVID-19 infections in classrooms, she decided instead to lead with her feelings about the “somewhat nefarious” agenda “being pushed through our schools.”
“So let’s talk about furries,” Lisa said. “It was addressed by a child a couple months ago that they are put in an environment where there are kids that identify as a furry — a cat or a dog, whatever.”
Lisa went on to say that she heard that “at least one of our schools in our town has, in one of the unisex bathrooms, a litterbox for the kids that identify as cats,” with no source or any evidence given. Regardless, Lisa claimed that she was “really disturbed by that” and “will do some more investigation on that,” in a turn of phrase reminiscent of Lady Gaga’s personal investigation into the January 6 riot at the Capitol last year.
Lisa then claimed that the litter boxes in the unisex bathrooms were “going on nationwide” and that they were part of “the agenda that’s being pushed through our schools.”
“I’m all for creativity and imagination but when someone lives in a fantasy world and expects other people to go along with it, I have a problem with that,” said the woman who made outrageous claims about a perceived threat to her child’s safety with zero evidence whatsoever, thus concluding her speech.
The Midland Public Schools Board did not comment on the incident at the time, but were forced to issue a statement when the video of the December meeting made the rounds this past week on Conservative Facebook, also known as the hellfire from which most transphobic delusions are spawned.
That included a post from Meshawn Maddock, co-chair of the Michigan GOP, who shared the video on the social media platform with the caption, “Kids who identify as ‘furries’ get a litter box in the school bathroom. Parent heroes will TAKE BACK our schools.”
In response, Superintendent Michael E. Sharrow shared a message on the Midland City/County Police/EMS Scanner Watch Group page, the necessity of which he referred to as “unconscionable.” Sharrow clarified that “there is no truth whatsoever to this false statement/accusation,” and that there have never been litter boxes in the bathrooms.
Sharrow added that it was “such a source of disappointment” that he felt the need to even make this statement, and requested that “in this divisive/contentious world in which we currently find ourselves,” parents should send him messages directly if they “hear wild accusations that don’t sound like something in which your Midland Public Schools Board of Education, Administration, District would be part.”
The incident follows an on-air meltdown from Tucker Carlson Friday about a recently unveiled redesign of the mascots for M&Ms candy, in an effort to appeal to a “more dynamic, progressive world.” Carlson’s takeaway was to be mad that they made the M&Ms “less sexy,” which is a real thing he really said about the anthropomorphized candy mascots.
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“M&M’s will not be satisfied until every last cartoon character is deeply unappealing and totally androgynous until the moment you wouldn’t want to have a drink with any one of them,” Carlson said. “That’s the goal. When you’re totally turned off, we’ve achieved equity,” he added. As Carlson delivered his diatribe, the lower third read “MISERABLE, NON-BINARY CANDY IS ALL WE DESERVE,” a phrase so funny that I can only dream of writing something half as good someday.
So perhaps instead of clutching her pearls over hypothetical children who are maybe a little too into Warrior Cats, Lisa could instead address the clear and present danger of the guy with a humanoid chocolate fetish, and has no qualms with broadcasting that about himself on the most-watched show on cable TV. Won’t Tucker think of the children?
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