If you suspect you’re being paid less than a male co-worker for the same work, you can raise the issue with your employer and insist that your company follow the law — which says that paying men and women differently for the same work performance is illegal. Here’s a step-by-step action plan for how to raise the issue — and what to do if that doesn’t work.
1.
Talk to your male co-workers about what they earn.
Our cultural discomfort with talking openly about what we earn — and the deeply internalized idea that it’s rude to ask others how much money they earn — makes it hard to combat pay inequality. And employers aren’t particularly sad about that; in fact, many have policies that explicitly forbid discussing salary with colleagues, even though federal law makes that illegal for non-supervisory workers.
But you can’t close the gender pay gap if you’re not willing to talk dollars and cents, so it’s worth working to overcome that uneasiness and talk more openly about money with colleagues. (And with friends as well — even if you don’t work together, open conversations about income can help everyone better calibrate their understanding of the market.) If you feel awkward initiating the conversation, be up front about why you’re asking. For example, you could say, “Confidentially, I’m worried there might be some gender or racial inequities in our pay structures. Could we both share what we’re making with each other so I can figure out if I should be concerned?”
2.
Know the law.
Sometimes women who find out that a male co-worker is being paid more than them wonder if there’s a nondiscriminatory explanation for the difference: Maybe he negotiated better when he was hired, or he came from a higher-paying previous job, or he’s being groomed for management. But none of those possibilities change the fact that if you’re doing basically the same work, getting paid a significantly different salary violates the federal Equal Pay Act of 1963. (The law does make exceptions if the employer can prove they’re paying someone more due to seniority or a merit system.) Also, paying men and women differently for the same work is illegal even if the employer doesn’t intend to discriminate. This means that you don’t need to prove that your employer intended to discriminate against women, just that men and women are in fact being paid differently for the same work.
3.
Analyze the facts objectively.
While better not to assume it’s the case, there could be legal reasons for a male co-worker doing similar work to earn a higher salary than you do. For example, if he’s managing a larger team, bringing in more revenue, or was hired with a particularly valuable type of experience or education, it would be perfectly legal for your employee to pay the two of you differently. But if there’s no obvious differences in your roles, results, or qualifications, it might indeed be the gender gap at work, and it’s worth raising the issue with your employer.
4.
Talk to your boss first.
If your boss is reasonable, it makes sense to start with them (as opposed to HR, although you can take things to HR as a second step). Ask to meet with your boss; in the meeting, say something like: “I’m concerned about the salary disparity between me and George, and I’m concerned that we’re violating the Equal Pay Act by paying a man and a woman so differently for the same work. Can you help me understand why there’s such a disparity in our salaries?”
Note the “we” here — as in “we’re violating.” That’s deliberate, because it makes the conversation feel more collaborative and less adversarial. You want the tone to be the same one you’d use if you were raising a less personal work concern; you want it to seem like you’re looking out for the company’s best interests rather than making an overt threat. There’s still the subtext of potential legal action, but starting out this way lowers the heat and gives you a better chance of a good outcome.
The other benefit of starting the conversation this way — seeking to understand rather than accuse — is that there might be logical explanations for the discrepancy in pay that you’d find reasonable if you knew about them. You can always escalate the seriousness of your tone if you’re not given a compelling explanation.
5.
Don’t answer questions about how you know someone else’s salary.
Some managers in this situation will get sidetracked on how you even know what a co-worker makes and may try to tell you that you shouldn’t be discussing salary with co-workers at all because the company considers that private information. If that happens, say something like, “For the purpose of this conversation, the issue I’m concerned about is the pay disparity. Can you help me understand that?” Stick to that stance if your boss keeps asking how you know.
6.
If needed, take it to HR.
If you’re not able to resolve the issue by talking with your manager, your next option is to raise the issue with HR. You could also start with HR if you don’t trust your boss to handle this well; if you have a decent HR department, they’ll recognize that gender pay gaps can pose real legal problems for the company if not addressed.
At the end of the meeting with your boss or with HR, ask when you should expect to hear back from them, so you have a timeline for when you should follow up if you haven’t heard anything.
7.
If the issue remains unresolved, you have legal recourse.
If you don’t get (a) a satisfying explanation of why your co-worker is being paid so much more than you, or (b) an increase to your pay to bring you up to the same level, you have legal recourse. You can file a complaint with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (no lawyer necessary), and they’ll at least make an initial investigation of the complaint. (There’s information here about how to start the process and what to expect.)
Or you might find it helpful to talk over your options with a lawyer. That doesn’t necessarily have to mean suing your company; often lawyers are great for just advising you behind-the-scenes on how to negotiate. To find an attorney who specializes in employment issues, contact your state bar association, the National Employment Lawyers Exchange, or use Workplace Fairness’ referral service.
Good luck!
Find even more career advice from Alison Green on her website, Ask a Manager. Got a question for her? Email askaboss@nymag.com (and read our submission terms here).
