A few mornings ago, I woke up to find a faint red stain in my boxers and thought to myself, “Did I miss a shot?” My period became a rare occurrence when I started testosterone, but when I forget a T shot (as I often do), my cycle will occasionally pop in to say hello.
It doesn’t really annoy me much these days, but there was a time when I was deeply repulsed by my cycle. I felt dirty and embarrassed for being a person that bled. As a transgender person, it caused a great amount of dysphoria. These negative sentiments stemmed from messaging that always correlated bleeding with pain and impurity, despite it being a biological process of the human body. Only recently did I come to think about periods differently as I witnessed other trans people talk openly and proudly about bleeding, countering these beliefs I held.
These conversations helped me so much, but much of the discourse about periods is still very limited. It's gendered, and equates having a period with being a woman. In truth, people of all genders bleed, so why do we so rarely hear from people who aren't cis women about that experience?
Over the summer, period care brand This is L. made its first step toward breaking the binary surrounding period conversations when they partnered with The Phluid Project to produce the documentary Periods Don't Define People . As part of this year’s Trans Awareness Week, I wanted to expand upon the open dialogue established by This is L. As we have learned, people are not defined by periods, we just bleed; I talked with seven other transgender and nonbinary people to about having a period to dispel misinformation.
Grey, Genderfluid, Any Pronouns
Grey, a, genderfluid, queer, Indigenous artist from North Carolina, has a unique experience with bleeding. At the age of 10, they were sent to the hospital with chronic cramps and bleeding that was attributed to stress. Since then, they have been diagnosed with a blood disorder that is triggered by emotional shifts and a severe iron deficiency.
“My cycle has always been a bit of a challenge for me. On top of experiencing dysphoria for a couple of years and body dysmorphia as well, it’s played with my mind overwhelmingly in the past and still to this very day," Grey says. "I’m just learning to be kinder to this vessel and the more I treat it with love the less it hurts me.”
Grey believes the dialogue on periods will shift to become more inclusive, but thinks it's binary and invalidating right now.
“I’m not a white girl running a marathon bleeding blue," they say. "I’m a gender fluid, queer, Indigenous artist who sometimes has to wait four days to feel like I can walk without crying to my kitchen and drink water while on my period."
Niko Cariño Tiare, Shape Shifting Femme, They/She
By the age of 20, Niko had been on testosterone long enough for their period to have disappeared for years. But after stopping testosterone, they had a hard time adjusting back to bleeding.
“I noticed all of my cis girlfriends loved bleeding. They felt so powerful and connected to the earth and moon, even if they were cramping," they say. "I thought that I was having a disconnect and that I must be the strange one for not being able to feel that magic.”
Niko sought to learn more about the moon and people’s connection to it, only to realize that their disconnection wasn’t lunar, but rather with the language people were using to talk about periods.
“It’s so cishet-centered and centered on reproduction and it felt strange," Niko says. "Like, ovulating isn’t powerful to me because I could potentially make a baby. It’s powerful because my hormones are doing a thing that makes me feel dope.”
Upon this realization, Niko started creating educational resources for all bodies that center on autonomy and pleasure because not all of people can or want to have babies, or are even having the type of sex that could lead to pregnancy.
Niko also believes it should be normalized for younger bleeders to understand that they aren’t hiding a secret, and for non-bleeders to learn about periods to destigmatize them.
“Shame thrives where only private conversations can happen.”
Tay Richardson, Nonbinary, They/Them/Él
Tay has switched back and forth between menstrual products, but they’re currently on the hunt for a a company that is actually visibly inclusive in their product and marketing. Most major brands, Tay pointed out, could be a lot more inclusive.
“I believe that they’ve gotten a little bit better in terms of showcasing various races and sizes, but that’s not enough. I don’t think I’ve ever seen packaging or marketing on products that were inclusive of various genders,” they say.
Additionally, Tay finds the language used in marketing to be off-putting as it plays into the misconception that if you have a period you’re a woman, or not having a period makes you not a woman. Tay notes, “even outside of the trans experience, plenty of cis women don’t get their period or don’t get it regularly. But they’re still women.”
These assumptions make shopping for period products uncomfortable for Tay. “I feel as though it provides an opportunity for my identity to be invalidated. Whenever I purchase products, especially with how the packaging typically looks, I feel as though folks are able to make assumptions about my gender.”
Gabriel, Genderfluid, He/They
Gabriel’s experience with their monthly cycle has been inconvenient and frustrating.
“I would always hope that I don't mess up my pants and give people more reason to make fun of me. Once I discovered I was transgender, I still felt the same way about my periods," Gabriel says. "While I didn't have any bottom dysphoria, I didn't want to keep having periods because I would always feel lethargic and moody. That's one of the reasons I started testosterone despite being nonbinary — I wanted the cycles to stop and they did once I hit the 3 months on T mark.”
Still, when Gabriel does have to buy menstrual products, he says the experience is a reminder of how cis-focused menstrual products are.
“Periods don't only happen for cisgender women. Anyone with a uterus can have a period. We can do away with ‘feminine hygiene/care’ and just put them in the ‘personal care’ aisle. Or just ‘hygiene,'” Gabriel says. “I like that there have been campaigns portraying trans men with having periods—but it would be great to see a commercial inclusive nonbinary folks.”
Theo Germaine, Nonbinary, They/He
As someone who has been on and off T, Theo has essentially experienced puberty multiple times.
“I had a few years of not having a cycle because of T, [then] had to have an ultrasound once when I was on T due to mystery bleeding.” After changing the dosage of T, Theo’s cycle became a bit more regular, but, he now has an IUD, which has decreased the frequencies of his cycle. Even long before starting T, Theo says they had really bad cramps, pain and dysphoria.
Theo hopes that going forward, society will stop regarding periods and menstrual blood as “gross.” “It’s a natural part of some people’s bodies," they say. "It’s just what some bodies do. That’s it. Have period sex. It’s great.”
Furthermore, Theo would like to dismantle gender essentialist excuses, “Cycles are not a mark of womanhood, or that trans women aren’t women. Some cisgender women have periods, some don’t,” they say. “I just want people to stop clinging to the idea of a period as a defining part of woman or girlhood. Brand marketing can help make that change.”
Kayden, Man/Transman, He/Him
Kayden has strong feelings about his cycle, referring to it as “the few days out of the month where I wish my body weren’t mine.” Since transitioning, his period has only continued to make him feel worse and extremely dysphoric. He has a hard time dealing with the hormonal changes that tend to bring him down mentally, “I tend to seclude myself until it’s over. I’m very secretive about it —even when it comes to my partner.”
Kayden enjoys confusing people while shopping for products, but isn’t a huge fan of the packaging, and overlooks it since he knows the marketing is not targeted towards bodies like his.
“If packaging were more neutral I’d have more positive feelings about them," they say. "I’m more drawn to packaging that is all black and less noticeable, similar to the Cora brand.”
Kayden also says he feels more comfortable about period products if the packaging doesn't have photos of women smiling, as though menstrual cycles are a joyous occasion for all bodies.
“Periods aren’t solely a women's issue," he says. "Including other identities doesn’t take away from women’s identity because women are more than reproduction.”
Loba, Queer Femme, Nonbinary, Loba/They
Loba grew up with very little information on menstruation until they they started to learn about Andean traditional birth, postpartum, and bleeding practices from grandmas and aunts when they were in their early 20s.
“Learning how to work with my cycle helps me understand how fertility works," Loba says. "Talking about menstruation with my blood family opened up a space for me to learn more about traditional medicine my blood family carries.”
They then began doula and midwifery studies and delved into menstrual health. “At that time, I was in LOVE with my blood. I would dry it, use it in my garden, study it, save it in vials, and more,” they say. But around the age of 27, the relationship with their period began to change. “I started to feel out of my body when I bled. I started to feel that I wanted my cycle to stop.”
Bleeding would cause a lot of feelings to come relating to their gender. They slowly realized they were nonbinary. Despite experiencing a roller coaster of feelings about bleeding, they are now in a space where they don't necessarily love bleeding, but still feel like a powerful, invincible, bleeding witch when their cycle occurs.