Dear Annie: I met a wonderful man online in 2010. I moved from Maine to Pennsylvania with him in 2012. He has a nice family, which I grew close to, including a daughter and her small family. In September of last year, he passed away from a heart attack and left no will.
His family helped me pack up, and they took most of his stuff. Shortly before I moved, his daughter and her husband showed up unannounced to take more things. The day before, I had sold my car and put the money with my personal papers, plus money for the move, into a security box. They took the box and refused to give it back.
I’ve sought legal help but to no avail. I have been told that this is considered a “domestic” case. This has been a nightmare. It has given me anxiety and loss of sleep. They promised to return my stuff if it was found to be mine. Please, people! Protect your loved ones and make a will! These people live in Pennsylvania, as my partner and I did, but in Pennsylvania our relationship was not considered a common-law marriage because we got together after 2005. -- Heartsick
Dear Heartsick: I am very sorry for your loss. You can only control what you can control, which is your peace of mind. They already took away your physical things; don’t let them take away your peace. The best revenge when someone has wronged you that badly is to live that well! Focus on getting back to taking care of you. Make sleep a priority, and if your anxiety is really bad, seek the help of a trained professional. Meditation, yoga and exercise can all help with managing anxiety.
If the money was for your car, and your partner was not involved with the purchase, then you can take them to small claims court to force them to return that money and all the cash that you put into the security box, plus your personal papers, of course.
Stories by Annie Lane
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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
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