Dear Abby: Reconnecting with best friend a decade later, but marriages change the dynamic

DEAR ABBY: Growing up, my best friend was a female. We had a strong platonic friendship for many years. Our primary method of communication was letter-writing. We wrote hundreds of letters and emails to each other before we drifted apart during college.

We recently reconnected after 10 years and quickly began talking like we used to. I’m excited to write to my fellow letter-writer again, but we are both married now, and I want to be respectful of the spouses involved.

Is there a right way to revive our constant flow of letters and emails, like in the old days? The letters are respectful, and we write about a wide variety of topics that interest us. -- CAUTIOUS IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CAUTIOUS: Letter-writing is fast becoming a dying art, and it’s a shame. I hope you and your friend have been saving the correspondence you’ve exchanged because they are valuable keepsakes that reflect your activities and opinions as you both have matured.

I see nothing wrong with continuing the exchange of letters as long as your spouses are aware of it and don’t object. More people should consider doing what you are doing. I have been told by friends (pre-“Abby”) that they have kept mine and enjoyed rereading them.

Stories by Abigail Van Buren

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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