What did the writer say after eating way too much cheese? My clothes won’t feta.

Bikkuri Donkey is a middle-of-the-road Japanese hamburger steak chain known for going overboard from time to time. Where else can you plop down less than $4 and receive an ice cafe latte in a trophy-shaped goblet as big as your head?

That’s the “bikkuri” size, which translates to “surprised” in Japanese.

Bikkuri Donkey’s latest astonishment is a time-limited campaign called We Love Cheeeese. Those extra letters aren’t a typo.

This family restaurant is flooding its famous hamburger patties with as much ooey, gooey processed cheese imaginable. Some are covered in demiglace and have the cheese baked inside; others are topped with garlic and bacon.

All are served with white rice and a side salad, but if that sounds too healthy, you can blanket your burger in even more cheese sauce — yellow or white — for an additional fee.

That’s what cheese said.

You can also get thick-cut fries drizzled in cheese sauce, cheese-covered broccoli and macaroni and cheese.

I made a brie-line for my nearest Bikkuri Donkey and, against my cheddar judgment, ordered the Melty Cheeseburger (1,730 yen, or about $11.03, for the largest size) with a side of extra white cheese sauce (270 yen).

As promised, my nearly 11-ounce beef patty arrived completely doused in a mess of processed cheese that overflowed onto my salad and soaked in the rice.

I fought the gouda fight but couldn’t manage to clean my plate. Feta luck next time.

Bikkuri Donkey, which has nearly 350 locations across Japan, hasn’t advertised when its We Love Cheeeese campaign will end. That’s another surprise.