Car rides home from sporting events have caused more kids to give up a sport than injuries ever have. Many youth sports participants have dreaded that time after the game, held captive in the family car with no immediate escape when theyâre forced to listen to their parentâs analysis of the game and their performance.
Hearing critiques of how they played and their teammates and coaches have a way of zapping the fun right out of the sport.
The parent/player relationship is critical during youth sports activities, with the car ride home experience being just one example of a critical touchpoint. With participation levels in many youth sports on the decline, parents should be looking at ways to give their kids every opportunity to develop a love of the game. Players who have fun with the experience will play longer and reap the positive benefits of sports.
How, then, can parents make sports more enjoyable for their children? How do you increase the fun factor in sports?
Sports Parenting Suggestions To Help Your Child
1.) Create traditions
Whether it has pasta feeds the night before big games or playing the same pump-up song from your carâs stereo en route to the game, kids thrive on traditions. Traditions can get players in the right mindset and can go a long way to creating lasting, positive memories about the experience.
I know one mother who would manicure her daughterâs nails before tournament games. A father packed his childâs favorite snack for between games. Kids are more apt to remember some of these ancillary experiences than wins over rival teams. Traditions bring us closer together â and thatâs a good thing.
2.) Understand your role during games
If youâre a new parent to youth sports, hereâs some advice for your game time behavior: Let the coaches, referees, refs, players play, and parents parent. Coaches will sometimes try to the ref, and it doesnât work out well. Parents will sometimes try to jump roles to coach, ref, or both. That doesnât work well either.
What do players want from parents at games? The answer: a quiet presence. Be there, but donât stand out from the crowd. Cheer good play from both teams. Be supportive. Demonstrate poise. Donât shout player instructions or ride the refs. Get along with other parents. Support teammates and coaches.
3.) Play the game with your child
In your backyard or driveway, play the sport with your kid. If youâre not very good at the sport, thatâs even better. When my daughter took up lacrosse, I wasnât in a position to give her any coaching tips, as I had never played.
When we play lacrosse catch, she loves it. The roles are reversed. She showed me what she had learned in practice from her coaches. Iâm on the receiving end of coaching tips. Even if you know the sport, try playing more and coaching less. Let your child come to you asking for advice. Advice yields better results when you have a receptive audience.
4.) Look for ways to help the team
From bringing snacks to helping coach at practice when the assistant is an outing of town, there are many ways parents can help the team. When parents, beyond the coaches, are positively involved with a team, it makes for a better overall experience.
Connect with other team parents in the stands. Iâd be a little worried if parents of teammates sit in different parts of the gym at an away basketball game. Reach out to parents of new players on the team and include them in the conversations. If the parents are unified, itâs easier to keep the players unified if just basic.
5.) Know what to say
Pre-game suggestions: âHave fun!â and âI love watching you play.â You canât go wrong with those two lines. Kids will be excited and nervous enough â no need to ask them if theyâre ready for the big game. You want your child relaxed and confident going into games.
Increase the Fun Factor in Sports
During the game, suggestions: Remember youâre a quiet presence. Offer no coaching advice. Cheer good play from both teams. Smile a lot. Relax. Enjoy the experience. Go with a steady diet of: âWay to go,â âGreat job,â and âNice play!â
Post-game suggestions: For the car ride home, you need to shift roles from sports spectator to parent. Offer no performance analysis on the ride home. Listen. Tell your child youâre proud and that you enjoy watching the game. If thereâs some priceless piece of advice youâd like to pass on to your child, wait a day â letâs call this âthe 24-hour rule.â Give your child a chance to unwind.
The Sandwich Compliment
After a day has gone by, weave your playing tip into a sandwich compliment. For example, (the compliment) âYour goal was fantastic; I donât think the goalie really even had a chanceâŚgreat job! (the opportunity) Hey, one thing to think about during practice this week: when youâre dribbling, try to look up more frequently. It will help you see your teammates. (the finishing compliment) Your hustle and determination were impressive! It seemed like you were everywhere on the field! Itâs fun watching you play.â
A big part of knowing what to say to your child involves knowing the importance of listening. Sports provide opportunities for many different experiences: the thrill of competition, playing with a team, having great games, having poor games, hard work, being on the field when it counts, not being on the field when it counts, etc. Before reacting too quickly to any event, hear your child out. An understanding parent who listens well can teach a child a lot when it matters the most.
In addition to praising your kid, look for opportunities to compliment other players and the coaches. Well-timed words of praise can go a long way. Remember, the best model for your childâs behavior is you.
By Mike OâHalloran
OâHalloran is the founder and editor of SportsFeelGoodStories.com. His focus on creating fun and memorable experiences through youth sports is showcased in his Well Prepared Coach⢠line of coachâs practice plans, MVP offseason workout plans customizable award certificates for players.
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