Opinion |

Overcoming generational divides — like it or not

On Martin Luther King Jr. Day, I had the privilege of attending a talk given by renowned trumpeter and composer Terence Blanchard. A native of New Orleans, Blanchard started his musical career in 1982. Since then, he has composed more than 40 film scores and written two operas, making powerful statements about American tragedies through his music. Blanchard has been nominated for two Academy Awards and 14 Grammys, winning six.

Beyond Blanchard’s impressive story, I was struck by his exchange with a 19-year-old audience member. The aspiring jazz trumpeter wanted to know more about Blanchard’s path, no doubt thinking about his own musical future.

Blanchard’s response was warm and thoughtful. The interaction seemed so natural. Later, I wondered how much of that was attributable to growing up in New Orleans, where music connects generations. At summer music camps, Blanchard became friends with the Marsalis brothers, born to one of the city’s best-known musical families. He toured with jazz legends Lionel Hampton and Art Blakey, learning music and life lessons from both of them.

Not that long ago, generational intermingling was part of daily life across America. It wasn’t just parents and their kids living together; other family members were nearby, often next door or down the street.

Growing up in Milwaukee, I lived only a few miles from my grandparents. Every Friday evening, my family would join them for dinner. My uncles and aunts were there, too. To this day, I have fond memories of those gatherings; I learned many lessons that I’ve carried forward.

With proximity came storytelling, connection and a sense of place and history. Wisdom was passed from generation to generation. Today’s digital interactions — while capable of bringing people together across the miles — just aren’t the same, as we experienced during the pandemic.

It is indeed a time of generational silos: The Silent Generation, Boomers, Gen X, Gen Y (millennials), Gen Z. We pride ourselves on doing our own thing. And too often, we don’t embrace or find ourselves in circles across generations. It’s contributed to a lack of understanding, if not disdain.

But there’s an interesting counter-trend under way: a sharp growth in multigenerational living. In an analysis of census data from 1971-2021, Pew Research Center found that the number of people living in multigenerational family households has quadrupled over the past five decades. Nearly 1 in 5 of us lives with extended family — some 60 million households in all.

The report described the social forces that are bringing generations together. One is the rapid growth in the U.S. of Asian and Hispanic populations; they are more likely than White Americans to live with extended family, especially if they are immigrants. Then there are practical considerations, like the cost of living here.

Home construction company Lennar is seizing the opportunity to bring generations together under one roof. Their Next Gen homes feature a private suite offering a separate entrance, kitchenette, living area, bedroom or multi-use room, and bathroom — “all the essentials multigenerational families need to work, learn, create or have a sense of privacy and independence.”

But even with that promise (of privacy and independence), I have to believe that multigenerational living isn’t as easy today as it was in my Milwaukee days.

A couple of months ago, NPR aired a series about young people moving back with their parents during the pandemic. Reporter Claire Murashima told the story of Monica Lee, a 28-year-old Korean American entrepreneur now living with her sister, parents and 97-year-old grandmother.

Before the pandemic, Lee worked a PR job in China. She described it as very corporate, with long hours and good pay. She lived with roommates. Now, Lee feels like a teenager again, despite running her own business with 12 employees.

Lee told Murashima, “On my way out the door, I have to let my parents know where I’m going and then answer all their questions of, who are you meeting? What time will you be home? ‘I don’t know’ is not an acceptable answer.”

In a similar way, multigenerationalism presents challenges for workplaces. Different work styles and points of view can contribute to miscommunication and negative interactions, often chalked up as “a generational thing.”

But it doesn’t have to be that way. Just as diversity in race and gender enriches our workplaces — and our lives — so, too, does diversity in age. Each of us has something to learn from the older generation, as well as lessons to share with those who are younger.

Just ask Terence Blanchard.

Dinkin is president of the National Conflict Resolution Center, a San Diego-based group working to create solutions to challenging issues, including intolerance and incivility. To learn about NCRC’s programming, visit ncrconline.com