Opinion |

As summer begins, thinking about our drought problem: empathy

In the rainless season we call summer in California, images of shrinking bodies of water have a way of looming large.

After more than 22 years of drought compounded by warmer temperatures, Lake Mead and Lake Powell — water sources that are vital to life in the Southwest — have declined to their lowest levels since they were filled. The two reservoirs now sit at just 28 percent of capacity.

But now, I don’t have climate change on my mind. Instead, I’m thinking about another reservoir that’s nearly empty: our reservoir of empathy.

Empathy is the ability or practice of trying to deeply understand what someone else is feeling. When we empathize, we imagine what it’s like to be in another person’s situation, as if we’re in it ourselves. Sympathy, on the other hand, is a shared emotion, often sadness. It’s the difference between feeling someone’s pain or feeling sorry for them.

We’re in the midst of an empathy drought.

It’s reflected in our factionalism on matters including race, gender, politics, religion – even whether to get vaccinated or wear a mask (still). And Friday’s Supreme Court decision to overturn Roe v. Wade leaves no doubt: Contention between supporters and opponents of abortion rights will only deepen.

Still, the empathy drought is almost understandable.

Americans are dealing with a lot these days: a persistent pandemic, mass shootings, natural disasters. Every day, it seems, we are exposed to stressful or traumatic events. Add personal obligations and household challenges, and it’s no wonder so many people are feeling emotionally tapped out. We have no more energy to care about others.

Cleveland Clinic psychologist Dr. Susan Albers has said that the loss of empathy — which she calls a “limited resource” — can manifest emotionally or physically. Emotional symptoms can include numbness, self-isolation and feeling overwhelmed, powerless or hopeless. Physically, a person may lose their ability to concentrate, be productive or complete daily tasks. Even close relationships can suffer.

And so, a retreat to our respective corners, where we find like-minded others, is easy and comfortable.

To be sure, there’s no rain dance that will replenish Lakes Mead and Powell. How can we restore our empathy? Albers recommends the “ABC” model:

• Awareness: Identify the stressors in your life. Then sit with your emotions, acknowledge how you’re feeling, and show self-compassion.

• Balance: If things seem awry, spend less time watching the news or scrolling social media. Instead, focus on the basics — things you can control — like diet, sleep and exercise.

• Connection: If your empathy tank is near empty, go out of your way to call or video chat with someone you care about. A feeling of connection can be healing.

Empathy plays an important role in workplaces, too. After all, we spend a lot of time working — and a lot of time with co-workers (sometimes more than the time we spend with family members).

Companies have begun to recognize an empathy shortfall in their leadership ranks — and a need to correct it. It makes sense when you consider that workplace culture is a microcosm of what’s going on in society at large. In workplaces, uncertainty, instability and stress can be magnified.

In a recent Harvard Business Review article, “The C-Suite Skills That Matter Most” empathy (among other social skills), is now considered as important as technical expertise, administrative know-how and a track record of successfully managing financial and operational resources.

Authors Raffaella Sadun, Joseph Fuller, Stephen Hansen and PJ Neal wrote, “Top managers are increasingly expected to coordinate disparate and specialized knowledge, match the organization’s problems with people who can solve them, and effectively orchestrate internal communication. For all those tasks, it helps to be able to interact well with others.”

Those social skills are needed outside organizations, too, as leaders cultivate and maintain relationships with diverse constituencies that expect transparency and accountability.

And thanks to the prevalence of social media, all these interactions need to be managed in real time. So, the authors noted, leaders need to be adroit at communicating spontaneously and anticipating how their words and actions will play beyond the immediate context. Beyond devising the right messages, they need to deliver them with empathy.

I’ll take this new thinking about the importance of social skills as a positive sign. For one, the ability to connect empathically with others is critical to our lives, helping us to get along, work more effectively, and thrive as a society.

We need to find the energy to care about others — or we run the unacceptable risk of leaving behind a factionalized world for our kids and grandkids. Even with a drop of empathy, we can begin to quench our thirst.

Dinkin is president of the National Conflict Resolution Center, a San Diego-based group working to create solutions to challenging issues, including intolerance and incivility. To learn about NCRC’s programming, visit ncrconline.com

(A Path Forward will be taking its annual summer hiatus in July. It will return Aug. 7.)